Friday, 10 April 2009

Premier League Predictions

No mucking about, let's just do this shit. Last week, I got 5 results right with 1 perfect score. Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson got 4 results right with 1 perfect score. Huzzah! I win the round, halving Lawro's lead to 2-1. Let's go round again...

Liverpool vs Blackburn - Sadly I can't see anything other than a home win here. Scousers will be looking to recover from the game against Chelsea and they'll win this. 3-0

Chelsea vs Bolton - Another easy home win. 2-0

Middlesbrough vs Hull - Boro have to win this game, or they're gone. I can see them getting a dramatic late goal, and winning it, 2-1

Portsmouth vs West Brom - Not much interest in this one, two poor teams. Home win again, I think. 1-0

Sunderland vs United - Our defending recently has been pathetic, and woeful. Sunderland are a poor side, going backwards...ooh, it will be close, but 1-2

Tottenham vs West Ham - Again, no real interest in this one, both teams are cruising to the end of the season now. 1-1

Wigan vs Arsenal - Arsenal finding a bit of form, and the game midweek was a very good result. Wigan are another team who have given up for the season. 0-2

Stoke vs Newcastle - Alan Shearer couldn't galvanise his troops enough to get a result against Chelsea, and this game is another tricky one for him. We all know the thuggery that passes for football at the Britannia Stadium, and I think Stoke will bully Newcastle here. 1-0

Aston Villa vs Everton - The previous game between these two was fantastic, a 3-2 rollercoaster. Two good teams, both should be in Europe next season. 1-1

Man City vs Fulham - I cannot believe this is the Sunday 4pm game, it has no interest for the neutral whatsoever. City will win it. 3-1

I've just looked at Lawro's predictions, and blimey, they are very similar to mine. Would just like to point out I don't look at his thoughts before I do my predictions, and I certainly don't copy him. I'm trying to beat him, remember.

The Rise and Rise of Tim Lovejoy will be taking a short break now over the Easter weekend. Enjoy yourself folks, and remember, violence is not the answer.

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Truly, Genuinely Shocking

When I woke up this morning I did what I usually do. I fired up my computer to check my e-mail and peruse the news and sport. Between the months of April-September, I always go onto, and go through last night's baseball action. This morning, I was looking at this:

I had never heard of Nick Adenhart before, so I went to my Baseball Prospectus book, as I am oft to do, to look him up and see what they thought about him.

Just been to again tonight, to check up on the live baseball, and saw this:

The fact he pitched last night is irrelevant, I suppose, because accidents can happen at anytime. It just made the news even more shocking for me, particularly having just learnt about him this morning. That's left me reeling, and is an awful reminder that life is sometimes far too short. My thoughts go to Nick Adenhart's family, and the LA Angels.

Running down the wing, hear United sing...

I'm actually supposed to be doing something vaguely constructive at the moment, but I'm currently listening to "99 Luftballons" (your fault, Merciless Public) and am now going to blog about Cristiano Ronaldo. Such is life.

Earlier on I was perusing one of my favourite websites: which combines United with statistics. Add Ana Ivanovic, and that is literally what heaven is going to be like! Today I was looking at goalscorers, and it shocked me when my eye was caught by everyone's favourite greasy Portuguese c*nt.

In terms of "All Competitive Matches" he's already 17th on the list, ahead of luminaries such as Bryan Robson, Lou Macari, Frank Stapleton, Sammy McIlroy, Steve Coppell etc.
In terms of "All Premier League Matches" he's 6th on the list, ahead of legends such as King Eric, David Beckham, Wayne Rooney, Dwight Yorke, Teddy Sheringham, Mark Hughes.
Blimey, he's only 10 goals behind Ole Gunnar.

So, why do I not feel Ronnie is a United legend? He is a "Manchester United player" in terms of quality, he's fired us to trophies single-handedly, he's one of the best players in the world, and effing hell, he's only 24. But, with every story that comes out about Real Madrid, and everytime I see him lose the ball and throw a tantrum, I love him less and less.

At this moment in time, Cristiano has a choice. He can stay at United, fight for the shirt, sort his attitude out, and become a true legend. Or, he can fuck off to Madrid, a side living on past glories and woefully overshadowed by the Barca express.

Do the right thing, Ronnie, for god's sake man. Your too good to ruin the rest of your career just because Madrid is sunny.

Now, altogether now: "99 Luftballons, Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont!"

Stat-porn and hat-tip to reader

Fascinating stat-porn tonight. Yesterday I received my first visit from my Motherland, Worthing! Probably a Facebook friend from down there after my latest shameless attempt to publicise my blog via Facebook status update. Whoever it was didn't hang around though, 1 page view and an average time of 0:00:00. Well, damn you. But thanks for visiting!

Also, two people stumbled upon my blog by typing things into google. The first was: "achtog laprifolo" - regular readers will recognise that as a putrid April Fool's "joke" that one website tried inflicting on the world. Quite why someone googled it is anyone's guess.

The second was: "chris morris would it really matter if tim lovejoy died" A fair question.

Finally for now, a massive hat-tip to friend, reader, and general all-round good egg vivelesteve for this linkage on MSN:

I demand Eddy officially gets a name-change. Imagine how many people would stumble upon my blog and stay for 0:00:00 then!

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

This is just too good to forget about Part 3

This is just brilliant, mainly because I have an immature sense of humour. This is the extended version I've linked to, which after the Sander bit itself jumps straight into a Letterman parody of it, followed by the great mans thoughts on it.

Favourite bit: "Alright, well, in answer to your second question, no..."

I wonder what happened to Ken, the internet doesn't really give any definitive answers. If you read this Ken, get in touch! And by the way, 1) No, they shouldn't and 2) I doubt Saddam is thinking anything right now.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

When the day is long...

I've just watched the film "Wendy and Lucy", which I'm pretty certain has left me more depressed than any other film I've ever watched, ever.

Feeling sad/down at the end of a film is nothing new to me. I desperately hope every film I watch ends on a 'happy ending', and when it doesn't I always get upset. You're reading the thoughts of someone who cried during/after: Saving Private Ryan, Philadelphia, The Green Mile and Forrest Gump (actually, maybe it's just I cry whenever I see Tom Hanks. I'll cry if I ever watch The Da Vinci Code, although that will be based on how bad it is).

No tears today though, just general depression. "Wendy and Lucy" is a small-ish film that probably has escaped the attention of a lot of people - it only has 1,700 votes on imdb at the time of writing. I would recommend it to all of my dear readers, but be very mindful that a) it is a slo-o-o-o-o-ow film and b) it's a real gut-wrencher, especially at the end. Thinking about it, the film has quite a few similarities to "The Pursuit of Happyness", a film I absolutely adore (happy ending, innit?)

Anyway, so, yes. I'm now glum. Any chance of United making me feel any happier tonight? The way we're playing at the moment, no.

The second that time stood still

I wanted to post this nearer to Thursday, but as I have nothing else to blog about and other stuff to go and do in a bit, I'll do it now.

Thursday sees the start of my favourite golf tournament, the Masters. I relish every second of it, and am always left in awe at the Augusta course itself, which is just breathtaking. If you're looking at me to give you some betting advice, forget it. I'm having a dabble on Mickelson for the win and McIlroy to be Top European, but no doubt You-Know-Who will win.

Which leads me onto this, which is without doubt one of the best sporting moments I have ever been fortunate enough to witness. On this video, it's the US commentary, so naturally the hyperbole is stoked up a million times more than anything Peter Alliss could manage:

I think I could watch that every day, and I'll never forget watching it live.
Let's not re-write history here though - Woods went onto bogey 17 and 18 and had to beat DiMarco (who played wonderfully the whole tournament) in a play-off. But at that moment, on the 16th green, it felt like time had stood still for one perfect, fleeting second.

Monday, 6 April 2009

Straight from the horses mouth


Sorry. Anyway, it was a cracking race. I know nothing about horse racing, but I love the way that most people become a punter just for that one race, and I also love the bit where there's about 2 fences to go, and one of the co-commentators excitedly hands over to Jim McGrath, who has a fabulous voice.

But how about this news today:

Now I saw that at the time, and I thought it was a little bit unfair and patronising. As Balding is well-known in those circles, I presumed it was an "in-joke", but I did feel it was a bit tactless. But the major problem I have here is that apparently almost 1,500 people complained about it. Seriously, what the heck is that all about? 1,500 took the effort, on a Saturday afternoon, to find a phone number for OFCOM or something, phone up and formally complain about that.

Not defending her at all, but come on people, get a life. Almost as bad as Manuelgate, where thousands of people complained despite not actually listening to the programme at the time.