Friday, 29 May 2009

Live-blogging 'Later with Jools Holland'

23:35 Are you ready? I SAID - ARE! YOU! READY! Then, for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching at home.....LET'S GET READY TO LIVE-BLOGGGGGGGGGGGG!
And if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya - Please leave!

23:38 Coming up tonight - Kasabian, The Pretenders, Regina Spektor(!) Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, Baaba Maal, Paul Jones, Golden Silvers.

23:40 This show is the last in the series! We kick off with Kasabian, I like listening to their first album when I'm angry.

23:42 Once you've heard one Kasabian record, you've heard them all to be honest. Serge from Kasabian is a snooker fan, amusingly. Lead singer looks a twat, even more so with long hair.

23:44 The Pretenders! Doing a song called "Don't Cut Your Hair" - this won't end well. Hasn't started well, to be honest. Perhaps it's aimed at Kasabian's lead singer.

23:47 I was right - it was shit.

23:49 Some chap called Baaba Maal, accompanied by The Hypnotic Brass Ensemble. I'm going to hate this. To be fair, I hate all music - quite why I even watch this show is beyond me. Just in the vain hope that The Ting Tings will be on one day.

23:50 Why do people jig about when playing trumpets/trombones etc? Just looks mental, albeit co-ordinated mental-ness.

23:51 Mr Maal looks a bit like a thinner, younger Reginald D Hunter.

23:52 Oh-oh, interview time. Jools is terrible at interviewing! Here he is talking to Chrissie Hynde, who looks old nowadays. Jools: "Is it nice having a band?" Weren't you in one Jools, or did I just dream up 'Squeeze'?

23:53 Jools Holland just reminded me so much of my friend Alex C just then, in his tone and mannerism. Slightly disturbing.

23:54 Jools: "I'm doing a survey of musicians - what time do you get up out of bed?" This is utter bollocks, for fucks sake. No-one cares, Jools.

23:57 Here comes Golden Silvers. The singer looks like he's just got out of bed and hasn't brushed his hair. I should know, that's been my style for 20 years. He looks a bit Marc Almond-ish. 

23:58 Golden Silvers instantly forgettable. Save us, Regina.

00:00 Dead on the witching hour, here comes Ree-gy-na / Ree-gee-na. Ah, balls, she's doing "Blue Lips", this one is just too damn slow. Shame, I'm a sucker for a female vocalist. Which reminds me:

"Pop star Sophie Ellis-Bextor has been found dead in the hotel room of a French international footballer. The police officer leading the investigation believe it to be a case of murder on Zidane's floor."

Oh, fuck off.

00:03 Another one from The Pretenders, before Paul Jones has even done one. Way to go, Jools! To be fair, we all know it's going to be Doo Wah Diddy.

00:07 And now Kasabian again. Is Paul Jones just there to make the tea? Hmm, "Fast Fuse" - I quite like this one, but, again, it's all just so flipping same-y from them.

00:12 Chat with Paul Jones! At the piano! This will be cringe-worthy!

00:13 The Manfreds are still going? Jeez.

00:16 Chat with Paul Jones wasn't too bad, although I'm 99% certain Paul was wearing a wig. On we go, back to Mr Maal, doing some rubbish in a different language. They come over here, nicking our jobs, can't speak proper...

00:19 There is a fly on my screen. In other news, I'm not being funny, but this is utter, utter shit. Please clear off, Baaba.

00:21 Paul Jones singing? Check. Jools doing "boogie woogie" on piano? Check. Song named after a Harry Potter book? Check. It's Paul Jones with 'Philosopher's Stone'!

00:22 It's my favourite of the evening so far, although that's not saying much.

00:25 The Hynoptic Brass Ensemble is my cue for a toilet break. STOP MOVING ABOUT WHEN PLAYING INSTRUMENTS! Jesus. The bathroom is next door to my room, but I'll try and find a way to kill myself on the way there. If I don't update after this, someone phone the police.

00:32 I'm back! Sadly. Ooh, The Pretenders with "Brass in Pocket"!!! I love this! My highlight of this horrible show. Says it all really. I'll boogie along to this for a bit.

00:36 We're ending how we began, with Kasabian. I shan't comment on the song, it will just be the same as all of their others. So instead, it's the end of this live-blog, and it's the end of the series. I would like to thank Merciless Public, for a) staying up with me throughout this madness, and going off and researching things when I bark at him over MSN, and b) for stepping into the breach 2 weeks ago when I was ill.

What have we learnt from all this madness? Well, no-one can argue that the show isn't diverse - every week, Jools wheels out bands/artists to satisfy all tastes. He could do with sharpening up his interviewing, some of his questions are ghastly. But overall, it's not a bad show. I love the studio they're in, I love the celeb spotting in the audience (Merciless Public tells me David Blunkett and dog are there tonight, but I missed him. Honestly, I'm as blind as a Blunkett) and I enjoy Jools - if nothing else, he's enthusiastic. Next series starts in September. 

Time for me to read through this, spell check, add labels, and wish you a goodnight, and a good weekend!

00:47 Turns out Merciless Public was lying about David Blunkett being there. I take back all the thanks. Next series, I'll get The Plashing Vole to step into the breach if needed.

I get readers

My most recent visitors:

1) Eskilstuna, Sodermanlands (googled "Tim Lovejoy prediction Barcelona") Sweden
2) Roscommon (googled "Tim Lovejoy girlfriend") Ireland
3) Austin, Texas United States of America
4) (googled "Lovejoy Barcelona") Germany
5) Barcelona, Catalunya (googled "Tim Lovejoy Champions League Final") Spain

So imagine my disappointment shortly, when my next visitor does not come from Paraguay, or Egypt, or Serbia, but Wolverhampton.

EDIT - My next visitor really was from Wolverhampton. Gah!

Roland Garros Update #3

Some things in life are easy. Barcelona's victory on Wednesday night. The South African golfer, Ernest "Big Easy" Els. Sunday mornings.

But I don't think I've seen 'easy' quite like 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player's match just now against 32nd seed Iveta Benesova. I'm looking after the Ginger Wonder today so I was up early enough to catch the start, and after placating him with the Nintendo Wii (which is going, soon, but I don't have the heart to tell him) I made myself a cup of tea and sat down with the BBC red button to watch the match. 

If Iveta Benesova is seed no.32, I think Betty Boothroyd is probably no.33, as she was RUBBISH. 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' played quite well, but it wasn't a test, and she cruises through Round 3 by the scoreline of 6-0, 6-2. Hoo-effing-rah!
Coming up next for 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' is a tricky match against either Victoria Azarenka or Carla Suarez Navarro. I suspect it will be Azarenka.

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

It's all over

Fair play to Barcelona, completely outclassed and outplayed us. Iniesta is some player. Let's hope The Plashing Vole doesn't resort to petty little comments tomorrow. I don't hold out much hope.

This is the one

I feel so sick with nerves, and it's only 17:42. This is it, the big one, the grande finale.

Was rather hoping those two pics would go side by side, but never mind. If you want some light reading ahead of the game, here's a few links:

Possibly my 2nd favourite United goal ever, that one, scored by possibly my favourite United player ever.

And so, to tonight. My opinion hasn't really changed since I blogged about the game a few weeks ago. I fancy us to score, at least once. Vidic and Ferdinand will be a strong threat from corners, and if they play Puyol and Sylvinho, that's a definite weakness. I think we'll surrender the majority of possession, and just make sure that Barcelona always play in front of us. Xavi and Iniesta, two wonderful players, can pass the ball around as much as they like, providing they don't play in Eto'o or Henry in behind. And as for the little maestro, Messi - we have to stop the cross field ball that Barca play. If you look at some of their goals from previous CL games, it's a ball across to Messi on the right, who cuts inside onto his left foot and causes mayhem. If Evra has an outstanding game, he can combat Barca's main attacking threat. Team I would pick:

   van der Sar
O'Shea  Rio Vidic Evra
Carrick Anderson Park
Ronaldo Rooney Tevez

I have nothing left to say. For Sir Matt.

Roland Garros Update #2

Another victory for 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' today! In the 2nd Round, 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' won convincingly 6-1, 6-2 against world Number 52 Tamarine Tanasugarn from Thailand!

I wasn't able to watch the game, as BBCi was showing Maria Sharapova's match instead. People only watch her because she's pretty, what a disgraceful attitude. More info about 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' and her match today here.

In other news, quickly - I just got the Countdown conundrum and the two players in the studio did not! Such a massive achievement for me, I couldn't help sharing it with you. "Workplace" ftw! Stay tuned for Champions League Final Preview!

If you tolerate this...

One year at secondary school (and I honestly can't remember what year it was, sorry) a load of us went on a trip to various WW1 locations in France and Belgium.  I think I was about 15 at the time - however old I was, I wasn't very mature. I was more interested in buying as much Belgian chocolate as I could, obsessing over a girl and generally acting an idiot. None of it was really sinking in, to be honest.

And then we arrived at Tyne Cot cemetery. To this day it remains the most awe-inspiring place I have ever been to - the size and scale of it is astonishing. I vividly remember standing on my own at one point, doing a full 360 turn and all I could see was headstones - it was like they went on forever, in all directions. And then it hit me - the magnitude of what happened all those years ago, the sheer scale of destruction almost overwhelming. Every single headstone was a man who had died fighting. And that was just one cemetery, and just a Commonwealth one at that. We also went to French and German cemeteries as well. For the rest of the trip, I couldn't shake the huge scale of it all - the impact it had on the world, the total number dead, the years of mourning and hurt, until sadly it all started again 30 years later.

Take a look at this page - and in particular, the grid at the bottom. Have a look at those total casualties - 5.6m French, 1.6m Italian, 6.7m Russian. Scroll up back to the top - "Main Allied countries" - Belgium, Serbia, Portugal, Romania, Greece, Albania, Brazil, Armenia etc. Same for WW2 as well - have a look if you don't know already.

Where is all this going, you wonder? Well, I've just had the misfortune to watch this.
I know you don't want to, but just watch the bit between 2:28 - 3:01. I don't think I've ever heard anything so batshit insane in all of my life. I've watched it about 12 times, and I still cannot believe what they're trying to say. Sorry to hop on the recent Gurkha bandwagon as well, but this page is very interesting. 26 VCs, for brave men with names like Karna Rana, Ganju Lama, Bahadur Pun. Very British names, them.

Some of our MPs have been very naughty recently - we all know that. But if it's a choice between sane people being a bit naughty sometimes, or this insane mob, I know which I would choose. If you vote in the Euro elections, please don't fall for this nonsense. Please vote for anyone but the BNP.

Monday, 25 May 2009

Hello, new friends!

'I'm not asking to be understood
am I asking oh for so much
I'm just looking for a brand new friend'

Over the past few days I've been exploring the world of blogspot, seeing if I can stumble upon any blogs that would be of interest to me which I wouldn't have found otherwise. I'm pleased to say I have - there's a lot of great creativity, writing and intelligence around folks, and if you're looking to beef up your blogging reading list anytime - find a blog, then at the top click on "Next blog" and go from there. You'll find a lot of Spanish stuff, but I promise even if you browse for 15 mins or so, you'll find something. I'm pleased that I've found quite a few interesting blogs, so after having them bookmarked for a few days, this morning I decided to Follow and add them to my reading list.

If you've just stumbled upon my blog as a result of me following you, and you're a bit confused - hello! I enjoyed reading your blog, and am looking forward to reading more in the future.

I live in the UK, a place called Telford. If you don't know it, it's remarkably like this:
I'm currently studying at the University of Wolverhampton, which recently came 3rd in the "Best Universities Guide 2009" behind Oxford and Cambridge. I am 22 going on 50. I am obsessed with a female Serbian tennis player who isn't Jelena Jankovic. I really should know better than all of this.

Thanks for visiting, and keep up the good blogging!

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Roland Garros Update

A couple of weeks ago The Plashing Vole pointed out to me that I was making a few too many references to the lady you can see in my picture at the top of this 'ere blog. I believe his exact words were "I think we are all well aware of your Ana obsession."

I realised with a jolt of guilt that he was right, and so since then I've tried to not mention her name. Now that Roland Garros has started, I won't change that. All I'll say is this: I woke up bleary eyed at 9:30am today as 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' was the first match on, her right as defending champion. I made myself an excellent cup of tea and a crumpet and settled down in my favourite chair to watch 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' play. 
Despite struggling in the 1st set, 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' won it on a tie-break, than played better to win the 2nd set 6-3, and thus navigate through the first round safely. I don't think 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player' will win the tournament - she's coming off the back of a knee injury, and is not in good enough form. But, so far so good. C'mon 'Everybody's favourite Serbian female tennis player'!

PS. If any of you were wondering what happened to live-blogging Jools Holland on Friday night - he wasn't on! It was golf highlights instead. Disgraceful.