Friday, 26 June 2009

The Obligatory MJ Post

Like so many other musicians, he wasn't going to fade away - on one hand I am completely shocked by this, but on the other hand I'm not. I suppose it was always going to end like this.

How will history see Michael Jackson? I don't know - I hope people will remember the music, like I will try and do, but the cloud will always linger over his name. Forever.

To convey my grief over his death, I contacted my pal E.J.Thribb, and asked him for a poem. He hasn't failed me:

So. Farewell then Michael Jackson
He who did Thriller
On the 25th June 2009
He suffered a cardiac arrest
And that turned out to be his killer

E.J.Thribb 17 1/2*

*If you wish to purchase any of Thribb's work, please visit

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

The highs and lows of SW19

A real mixed day down at Wimbledon. First, a high. Ana Ivanovic survived two match points to progress through to Round 2. And no, I don't run that blog, but it is awfully useful for an obsessive like me. I watched the game thanks to the BBC website, and Ana was utter shite. She won't be around much longer. At Wimbledon, I mean. I'm not planning to kill her.

Next, a low. I don't like using this word (actually, I do, I love it) but some cunt from the Mirror thought he'd try and provoke a reaction from defeated Brit Anne Keothavong. He got it, sadly, and he got his story. I have to wonder who organises these press conferences - if I was in charge, I would have interjected immediately, and told him to ask something else, or leave. Every professional wants to win - none of them lose deliberately, and to heap that much pressure on a young girl's shoulders straight after a defeat is unacceptable, in my opinion. She's done well this year, and she just had a bad game. By going out there and giving her all, the only person she would let down is herself. I hope the guy is satisfied.

Another low is that 6 British players got knocked out today. Don't blame them, blame the grass roots of the game on these shores. And remember that Tim Henman had his own tennis court, and parents rich enough to fund private coaching for him, Greg Rusedski is Canadian, and Andy Murray has grown up in Spain. I don't have time here to analyse what the tennis bods need to do to change things, but change is needed, no matter how many tournaments Murray wins.

Finally, I have to finish on another low. I'm calling you out Celina Hinchcliffe. Not just you, though, every journalist who has ever done this. Watch this video between 0:37 - 1:00. Make sure you notice Ana's eyes glaze over, her smile get a little forced, and her standard reponse to this question. Yes, she has a standard response to this question, because she's heard it 6.7m times before from journalists. Yes, she's gorgeous, and she has male attention. I know that. You know that. She knows that. We all fricking know it. So do you think you could stop asking her about it now?

As she has pointed out to every journalist a million times before, she think it's nice, "every girl likes a compliment", but she wants people to notice her for her achievements on a tennis court. God knows why, she's shit at the moment, but that's what she wants. If there's any sports journalists reading - if you get to interview Ana, please ask her what her favourite biscuit is. Or whether she likes the film Casablanca or not. Anything, apart from "How does it feel to be fit?"

Monday, 22 June 2009

The Championships, Wimbledon

Before a ball is struck in anger, thought I'd better get my Wimbledon predictions in quick, so that after the tournament you can point and laugh.

Who I think will win: Murray and S Williams

Who I want to win: Federerererererererererer and my dear Ana

If you feel brave enough, leave your own predictions as a comment below - then we can all just laugh at each other!

100th Post Birthday Extravaganza!

I can hardly believe it folks, but this 'ere blog entry is my 100th, and like all good cricketers I intend to celebrate my ton. Since the 11th March 2009, I've had a wild and wacky blogging experience. I have:

  • Gained 11 followers
  • Had well over 1,000 visits
  • Live-blogged television programmes and sporting contests
  • Insulted a couple from Shifnal
  • Did a quiz (another one to come next month!)
  • Caused my sitemeter to go crazy, thanks to Twitter
  • Uploaded funny videos
  • Bored you all with my Premier League Predictions
  • Told you just how much of a pervert Samuel Pepys was
  • Bored you all with holiday talk
  • Bored you all with Ana Ivanovic talk
I don't really know if I've achieved anything, doing this blog. Although, my main achievement in life is knowing all the lyrics of Bran Van 3000's "Drinking in LA" so I've always been a failure. But, I'm still having fun. If I reach 100 followers, I might pack it in, but I'm a long way off that just yet.

I was wondering what special thing I could do to commemorate this wonderful moment in time, so I went back and looked at my very first blog post. There I seemed to just advertise other blogs, and that gave me an idea. A few weeks/months ago I recommended visiting a blog, then clicking on "New Blog" at the top and go wandering through the blogging world, finding random blogs that you would never have found otherwise. One night, I did that, and I found a blog so fantastic I e-mailed the owner, and followed it straight away. The blog tugged at my heartstrings, and being the sentimental, emotional wreck that I am, I can't resist sharing it with you good, good people. Having plugged other blogs in my 1st post, time to plug other blogs in my 100th post:

Go and visit, click on the archives and find the very first post, then have a browse through. I know you will, you're good like that. I certainly don't regret doing that, and for me the whole experience neatly encapsulates the wonder of blogging - I now think more about that soft dog in Denver than I do my own, even though I know neither the dog or the owner personally. I've never been to Denver, I probably never will. To me, that's what blogging is all about - simply sharing experiences with others, no matter where they are.

Here's to the next 100 posts!