Friday, 27 August 2010

Twice Nightly Whiteley

Hello again. I know I blogged earlier today but something in tonight's Sloppy Star has caught my eye and I'll be damned if I can ignore it. So, just like buses, here's two blogs in quick succession. Say hello to a letter writer called....ah, we don't know - it's Name Withheld. I get the feeling we're about to find out why...

I would like to answer your question on where have the jobs gone?

I didn't ask, but, please, continue.

It's quite simple.

Great news, considering it's 23:30 currently.

All the Eastern Europeans have taken them.

Oh fuck off. When I marry the Polish girl I like we're both going to poo in envelopes and send it to you, you ridiculously ignorant racist.


Because I hate you. Oh, sorry, misinterpreted that. Carry on.

Because people like you, and the 900,000 you mentioned,


are too lazy to get off your chairs and go look for them, it's easier to claim benefits.

This is true for some people, sure. But not all. Not sure what's with the attacking tone, either. What have I done to upset you? I'm in higher education dude!

I watched The Big Lebowski last night. I didn't like it that much, but I took from it a desire to call everyone dude. Dude.

How on Earth can someone be ill for 10 years?

Well, first of all WHAT? Secondly, quite easily.

That's just bone idle.

Oh my god. So someone who suffers from crippling MS, who's had it for 10 years is lazy and bone idle? Firstly, that's dumb. Secondly, WHAT?

Okay so you might have been ill at one time but 10 years? You don't deserve a job.

I give up. I have no idea who you're talking to, what you're talking about, what planet you are on. But if you seriously believe someone being seriously ill for 10 years is just bone idle, I wouldn't want you as my doctor.

If it was up to me you wouldn't even get benefits.

Are you Hitler? Serious question.

Grow up man, stop whinging and get out there and find a job.

End of letter. This has to be up there with the most mental letters I've ever read, not least because the writer  seems to be targeting someone in particular but doesn't reference who, all with a splash of casual racism in tow.

Fuck this nutter. I really am off on holiday now, ta-ta.

Thursday, 26 August 2010

The Joys of August

I am going on holiday. For a week I will not have internet access, so I'll either have a lovely break - spending time with my family, reading, walking and seeing the sights - or I'll start climbing the walls and go mad. Let me put it this way - if the cottage doesn't have a dartboard, I riot.

So I'm busy packing today. First up, books. I feel I need to take quite a few, and take a variety of styles. I've gone for:

The Damned United - David Peace (I'm halfway through it. I don't like it much so far, annoyingly)
The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Thanks for Nothing - Jack Dee
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Awkward Situations for Men - Danny Wallace
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

And a collection of short stories by Jeffery Deaver.

I would take some DVDs as well, but I think there's only one TV and doubt there's a DVD player. So I'll take a Clint Eastwood collection just in case.

Okay, so then we have the obvious stuff - clothes, toiletries, wallet, tablets, phone.

The not-so-obvious stuff:

My baseball.
Digital radio.
Crib board.
Crossword dictionary.
Little screwdriver for my glasses.
My Guinness rugby stress ball.
My Badly Drawn Boy-esque hat.
PSP and charger.
One pack of playing cards.
One pack of playing cards for magic tricks.
My 11-in-1 multi-functional tool.
Pad of paper and pens.
My trusty copy of Baseball Prospectus 2010.
Multi-vitamin sweets.
My encyclopaedia.

Well, I think that's everything. Hey guys, thanks for helping me pack!

God bless you all.

PS. There's nothing left in the house worth stealing, so don't go getting any ideas.