Friday, 3 April 2009

Premier League Predictions

Last time (which feels like ages ago) I, Ewarwoowar, got 5 results right, and 0 perfect scores.
Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson got 5 results right, and 1 perfect score. The bastard.

So, 2-0 to Lawro, can I halve the deficit?

Blackburn vs Tottenham - I've given up trying to predict what Spurs are going to do. Beat Chelsea last time, but I think Blackburn will out-battle them. 1-0

Arsenal vs Man City - It's a shame for Mark Hughes that Robinho goes missing away from home. van Persie is out, I think, for Arsenal - that's a huge loss for them, but I think they'll win, 2-0

Bolton vs Middlesbrough - I wouldn't watch this match if you paid me. Turgid, scrappy, Kevin Davies to score. 1-0

Hull vs Portsmouth - Tricky one this, two poor sides. Pompey to nick a point. 1-1

Newcastle vs Chelsea - Wow. Just wow. This is impossible to predict. The crowd will be up for it, the players will be up for it.....oh, go on then, home win. 2-1

West Brom vs Stoke - I think WBA are down already, but this will be a close one. Home win, just. 1-0

West Ham vs Sunderland - I think West Ham are pretty much done for this season. They'll play out the games, and enjoy mid-table. 1-1

Fulham vs Liverpool - Fulham have beaten us, Arsenal and drawn against Chelsea at home, so hopefully they'll upset the last Big 4 team to go there this season. 1-1

Everton vs Wigan - Two half-decent teams. I think Everton, at Goodison, will just nick it though, 2-1

United vs Aston Villa - Eeek, not looking forward to this one. Vidic, Scholes, Rooney out, Tevez flying back from Argentina. We all know that Villa have choked it re. 4th place, but now that Arsenal are ahead of them, they may start playing again. Or they may just be knackered. Sheesh, this will be a frustrating draw. 1-1

Have a great weekend kids, and remember, if you can't be good - be somewhere else!

Well Done, Wisden

Cricket has always been accused of being a bit 'stuffy' and pompous. Not too surprising, when you consider that the MCC banned female membership there for 212 years, and commentators as ridiculously posh and upper-class like Henry Blofeld hardly help the image of the game in this respect.

However, the new Wisden Almanack (the cricketing bible) has today announced it's annual five Wisden Cricketers of the Year. They are James Anderson, Dale Benkenstein, Mark Boucher, Neil McKenzie and Claire Taylor.

Yes, that's right, Claire Taylor is a woman. She was the player of the tournament in the recent Woman's World Cup, and was an integral part in the team retaining the Ashes in Australia. Some people might shout "political correctness!" over this, but I disagree, Taylor is a worthy recipient. Hell, it's not as if the men's team has anything to shout about at the moment.

Will women's cricket suddenly explode in popularity because of this? No, probably not. But it's nice to know that they have been represented in some way by a respected cricket publication.

Thursday, 2 April 2009


Imagine my delight to read that Merciless Public has discovered the delights of Kate Bush. Good effort, chum!

In other news, I was asked yesterday about the title of my blog. Well, I have to be honest, and give props to my old pal Matthew "Smithy" Smith who came up with the phrase many years ago, I think for an account he had on GreatestJournal. I liked it so much I nicked it for this waste of time.

Also, when it comes to the name Ewarwoowar, I have to give props to my Uncle Mike. Years and years ago, he made me laugh by making me say what you got if you took out the d's in Edward Woodward. It still makes me smile nowadays, to be honest, but that's just me. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that despite doing Creative Writing, I clearly am incapable of original thoughts.

Finally, I've just finished a book which scared me. Doesn't happen often, but Susan Hill's "The Woman in Black" did give me the jeepers. I thoroughly recommend it.
The TV adaptation of it can be found on youtube. There's no way effing way I'm watching it.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

April 1st

Big news, dear reader - I've just been offered a part in Woody Allen's new movie. I'll be playing Lord SWT Snotrocket, and we start filming in Zurich on the 17th of May.

Not really! April Fool's! ZOMG! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!one!!!

Sorry for being a grumpy old git, but April 1st just depresses me. I find myself searching about 10 different news websites, just to check that what I'm reading is actually accurate, or a 'hilarious' joke. The thing is, they never are funny. Looking at, I assume the Stephen Fry 'shark-whale' sighting is their attempt. Yeah, great. And how about these two football related ones:

Wolves chief executive Jez Moxey is in talks to star in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing, alongside Hungarian sensation Lora Pliof. (Wolves official website)

US President Barack Obama will travel to Eastbourne Borough's Blue Square Premier game against Ebbsfleet on Saturday, in order to watch his cousin Achtog Laprifolo play for Borough. (Eastbourne official website)

Seriously, what's the point? "Achtog Laprifolo", for fucks sake.

Either try and be convincing, or don't bother at all. Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has got his spot on, however - making Alan Shearer their manager! Now that's a good one Mike, really funny. Wait, what, you mean it's not a joke?!