Friday, 17 April 2009


Apologies for this, my 4th post today. I promise this will be the final posting until Monday. However, whilst I was lounging around playing my PSP, my thoughts wandered and I realised that I had forgotten my main promise when I started this blog - that if you followed me, and you have a blog, I will advertise it for you in my own little way, free of charge. So, without any further ado:

Some readers will know this blog perfectly well already, but for those of you who don't, his name is Ben, and I'm assuming he's cynical. He's also friends with a Vole, and seems a class guy. My friend Merciless Public, via 'twitter', said thus about him:

"but that cynical Ben guy is top class. See his comments on Vole's blog?"

So if you don't want to take my word for it, take Merciless Public's. Phew! Glad I remembered that. Now to continue beating the crap out of the Kansas City Royals, baseball's equivalent of West Bromwich Albion.

Premier League Predictions

Last week, friends, I got 6 results right with 1 perfect score. Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson, the arse, got 8 results right with 2 perfect scores! The bastard! He takes a 3-1 lead, with not too many rounds to go. Let's try and make it 3-2...

Aston Villa vs West Ham - Villa have got to try and capitalise on Everton not playing in the league this weekend, and try to cement 4th spot. A win here will be nice, considering their recent form. 2-1

Middlesbrough vs Fulham - Another home game for Boro, another game they have to win. Fulham's away record is poor, and Boro will win this one. 2-1

Portsmouth vs Bolton - Anyone care about this one? Not me, particularly. 2-0

Stoke vs Blackburn - Stoke are good at home, but when they come up against a side managed by Big Sam, they won't be allowed to use their bullyboy tactics. 1-1

Sunderland vs Hull - The Mackems are in trouble, I think. Especially if their North East friends win this weekend. Two poor teams, but home advantage will see Sunderland through. 1-0

Tottenham vs Newcastle - A draw away at Stoke was a big result for the Toon, but Tottenham are playing with a bit of freedom now, and they'll be too strong here. 3-1

Man City vs West Brom - Baggies are down, City are "meh". Well, who cares? 3-0

Not going to do FA Cup predictions, but I wouldn't be surprised if both games went to extra-time. Enjoy your sport this weekend!

This Morning with Richard not Judy

Fellow fans of Stewart Lee will recognise the entry title.

Since becoming a university bum, "This Morning" has swfitly developed into one of my favourite programmes. It's light, easy to watch, flits about a bit and is always awfully cheerful. Apart from when Kerry Katona made her infamous appearance, of course.

Anyway, the big question is, who's going to take over from Fern?! This is a burning issue for me at the moment, and I hope the people involved make the right choice. Ideas I have read about the person taking over include:

Myleene Klass, Emma Forbes, Peaches Geldof(?!), Ruth Langsford, Fiona Phillips, Allison Hammond, Carol McGiffin, Kate Garraway, Zoe Salmon and many others.

My choice however would be the "favourite" for the job, Christine Bleakley. This may be because I fancy her like crazy.

Anyway, who do my dear readers want/think should take over this poisoned chalice?!

The Pirate Bay

Not sure how much I can say about today's news re. The Pirate Bay website, as it's a court case and I believe the chaps involved will appeal.

In my opinion though, the verdict today changes nothing. Those guys say their website will continue to run, and if one goes down, six more will no doubt spring up. Look at the Napster situation all those years ago, nothing much changed - if the courts think they can stop this, they're wrong.

To change it, the music industry needs to move with the times. Hopefully the introduction of Spotify will go someway to helping - it may not have all music on there, but it does persuade the user to use it and not illegally download. This can only be a good thing.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

The Answers

The deadline for the Lookalikes quiz has now passed, many thanks to those of you that entered. Without any further ado, here are the answers:

1) Samantha Janus - "But she looks nothing like Samantha Janus?!" I hear you cry. I know, guys. I know.

2) Angelina Jolie - I think everyone got this one, mainly because of the lips. Mmm, Jolie's lips. Anyway, that one was vaguely passable.

3) Jose Mourinho - I advise everyone to read Cynical Ben's summary re. this one. He put it in a much funnier way than I ever could.

4) Tiger Woods - Black man? Check. Nike cap and shirt? Check. Woo, I'm like Tiger Woods! No sir, you are not.

5) Tony Blair - I'm not joking, either. That man believes he looks like Tony Blair. He's available for birthdays and assorted celebrations folks!

6) Kevin Spacey - Again, I'm not joking. I find it all a bit sad, actually. Just the whole lookalike business in general.

So, who won? Well, "Sir Mitchell of Cashmore" got 6 out of 6. Impossible, I hear you cry! And I agree. Myself and Merciless Public have been doing some stealth tactics, and it's clear to both of us that "Sir Mitchell of Cashmore" cheated! So, I've taken the executive decision to disqualify "Sir Mitchell" from the quiz, and will now brand him a cheat. If you walk past him in the street, feel free to spit at him* - he tried cheating you folks!

So, out of the people who played along honestly, who won? Well, I'm excited to say it was a 3-way tie, between Rich Bergman, Merciless Public and Don F! CONGRATS TO ALL OF YOU!

And now, the big news - the prize. Well, the prize for the winner was an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas in July! Flying first class with British Airways, the winner would be staying in a 5 star hotel for a fortnight, sampling the delights of the beautiful area and getting to know the friendly locals.

Sadly, as it's a 3-way tie for the win, that prize is now null and void. So, you each win an air guitar instead, and my eternal thanks for taking part!

*Don't spit folks, it's jolly rude.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Just a quick note...

...I'm setting a deadline for the Lookalikes quiz - if you haven't entered already, you have about 24 hours left, i.e. midnight Wednesday PM/Thursday AM is when I will close entries, give the answers and reveal the winner. I'm sure you all know, but to enter and try to win the prize, scroll down below this post to the entry and leave a comment with your 6 guesses. Thanks for all the efforts so far people, appreciated. Let's have some more! The more the merrier.

I'm off to bed now, for an "early night" because I'm hoping to golf tomorrow morning. Just one quick thought for the night - I'm listening to the "Jagged Little Pill" album by Alanis Morissette, thanks to the lovely people at Spotify (especially Roberta). Is it just me, or was Alanis a very, very angry woman? Calm down dear, it's only a commercial.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Ooh, he looks just like...

Had a good Easter? Excellent. Put down the chocolate, you fatty, and read my latest blog entry. When you've finished reading, by all means, finish eating.

There's a craze at the moment of people who look vaguely like celebrities whoring themselves out to weddings/bar mitzvahs/birthdays for money, presumably thinking they add something to the experience. I say "that's retarded" and thankfully so do the people on a forum I was reading the other day, highlighting awful, terrible lookalikes. I'm going to post a few here, and I actively encourage you to leave me a comment with your guesses as to who these people are supposed to be. I tell you what - if you don't cheat, and you all play fairly, there will be a prize for the winner. So why don't you play along!

Whether you follow my blog or not, whether you're a regular visitor or not, whether you're from the UK or not - HAVE A GO! WINNER GETS A PRIZE! And no cheating, because you'll just be cheating yourselves...
UPDATE - Readers have already begun to send in their guesses. Thanks very much. If you want to guess, just post a comment. Don't be misled by the "0 comments" bit, as I'm not publishing the comments yet as other people may copy answers! I'll reveal all comments, and the answers, in a few days time. Give it a go, and win a prize...