Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Letters Pray

It's been well over a month since I've looked at some letters into The Shropshire Star, and the papers I've saved especially for this reason have begun to fester a little bit and really need binning. So, let's cut the small talk here and go go go. I'm treating you by lining up a Val Duncan DOUBLE-BILL first!


Cameron says: "If I was running a Conservative-only Government I think we would be making further steps on things like immigration control or making sure that our welfare reforms were absolutely making sure that if you're not prepared to work you can't go on welfare. I think we'd be tougher than that."


A very bad statement to make because Cameron is already known as Mr U-turn and this confirms we have a very weak Prime Minister who will give ground for an easy ride. Time to change the leader and put someone in place who has a backbone.

Who? I don't agree with Val's opinion here, but let's run with this last sentence. You get rid of D-Cam, and you replace him with....who exactly? Gideon? Michael Gove?

*little devil on Ewar's shoulder* "Don't you like David Davis and think he'd be a good leader?"


Also, Val seems to be criticising the fact that a leader operating in a coalition Government is making it very clear that he's the leader of a coalition Government. Boo! Send him to the stocks!

The Prime Minister made a speech a few months ago enthusiastically welcoming Turkey's 78 million into the EU, which of course means unfettered access to England which is already chronically overcrowded. That's how serious he is about mass immigration.

Of course it does. That is, OF COURSE, what it means. All of these Turkish people are now able to come over here now that they've joined the EU. I'm looking forward to meeting a Turkish person! We've never had one in this country before, of course.

Now please just excuse me whilst I go and get a kebab. Lovely guys down at my local kebab house. No idea where they come from!

We could virtually stop immigration in its tracks if we stopped the benefit system (but I suppose this isn't allowed by the EU!) 


David Cameron is the biggest disaster ever. Need I add more?

"The Biggest Disasters Ever - A List by Val Duncan"

5 Hindenburg
4 Munich Air Disaster
3 Titanic
2 Pompeii
1 David Cameron

Val Duncan


Europe wants to raise the percentage of reduction of carbon footprints from 20% to 30%?

That is a brilliant idea.

What a brilliant idea.

I know! Good, isn't it?

Let us send all manufacturing and wealth creating to China or even India...we can all sit back and let China and India send us financial aid. 


Can I ask just when our Prime Minister is going to start thinking about Britain? Please Mr Cameron will you stop looking in the mirror and practising looking important on the world stage and start looking at the state of our country instead.

This is really annoying, as Val wrote this BEFORE Cameron decided to stay on his holidays rather than come back to the UK once the looting started, so reading this now it appears that she has a point. Damn you D-Cam! Nevertheless, I like this paragraph a lot more when you take it literally, and imagine our Prime Minister taking a few moments every day to look in the mirror and "practice looking important".

Whilst I'm here - "Europe wants to..." suddenly becomes all about Cameron and Britain. Far be it for me to try and wade through Val Duncan's thoughts and make some sort of sense out of them, but I'm not sure this really makes any sense whatsoever. As we've seen in the past, she HATES a federal Europe, but now she wants Europe to keep all of it's profitable manufacturing going whilst banning David Cameron from looking in mirrors.

I think?

We are under-educated and under-defended;

Speak for yourself.

unemployment is abysmal; we are cutting everything and paying more for essentials. Either get a grip or stand down. You are not up to the job.

I for one welcome our new David Davis led overlords!

Val Duncan

Seriously, you were from Wellington a few minutes ago. What's going on?

There's only so much Val Duncan a man can take, so let's move on.

Is Nato finished?


One good reason it will not survive - it is costing America too much.


Allan Tucker

Thanks Allan!

To be honest, I secretly like Allan Tucker. If you're going to be wrong - and he ALWAYS is - it's better to be wrong in about 12 words then 1,200.


I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -

This is going to be a boring letter. Does anyone want a cup of tea? I'm just on my way to the kitchen, so if you want anything shout now or forever hol...hang on, what? Can you repeat that?

I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -

Wow. And I mean that.

a perfectly innocent comment! Not a slur!

When I get to about 70, can someone just put me down, please? I don't want to end up like this person, or like my Gran, who goes to church several times a week yet is the biggest racist I know.

The thing is, she doesn't do it deliberately - it's just the attitude that she's grown up with, and now times have changed she can't adapt. But that's a race thing. Surely there's never been an acceptable time to flippantly describe someone, in a social context, as "the fat girl"?

It reminds me a little of Father Ted, the way that Matthews and Linehan named their characters - "The Dancing Priest", "The Boring Priest" and so on.

I was told by the obviously educated lady serving that I should not say such things etc.

If there's one thing I fucking hate - and which we need less of - it's educated people. Fuck off, learned people! Take a hike, socially aware, diplomatic, courteous and kind folk!

What a narrow-minded nasty little world the politically correct brigade have brought about!

And......I'm bailing.

J H Price

I read the letters page every day, yet I've never seen this name before. That, combined with the last sentence, makes me think that I'm being had here.

Because this is a wind-up, isn't it? It has to be. I don't want to exaggerate my power and influence(!) but I do get readers landing on these blog entries often having Googled a letter writers name. There's a danger that combing through the letters pages, I've set myself up for a right merking - someone has seen this blog and tried to reel me in with a letter like this.

JH Price from Madeley. My eye is very much trained on you. Fat boy.


One more.

I cannot believe the content of Val Duncan's letter (July 4th). While I am concerned about the way some immigrants seem to get benefits, it's obvious that most of that letter is untrue, very inflammatory and intended to stir up racial hatred.

Ron Jones
St Martins

Ooof! It's Ron Jones 1-0 Val Duncan!

Can Val equalise?! Join us next time to find out, kids!


  1. Tim - your blog is absolutely brilliant - I love reading it - just thought I should tell you