Thursday, 10 February 2011


Apologies for two blog posts in a row about letters in my local paper - next blog post might be about Justin Bieber!!!! - but I just cannot ignore these two letters. Quite simply, friends, I think it's fair to say we've hit the jackpot. These two letters contain a level of sheer unbelievableness not seen since my old friend J Wendy Slark, (whatever happened to Slarkie? She disappeared altogether. I'm worried - it has been a particularly cold winter) and I know you'll love them.

I'll start with the slightly less offensive one.

With reference to letters claiming there is no evidence that bringing back the death penalty stops murders.

Those letters would be correct. The other day I found this site:

which makes for sobering reading. It's a list of people executed in Texas, and along with their information it lists their Last Statement. Have a quick look at that site - it's absolutely incredible, if that's the right word.

The thing that really jumps out at me however on that site is the length of the list - over 450 names, the first being in 1982, the last a few months ago. The last being a murderer, by the way. Death penalty stops murders happening? Hell, not in Texas.

It is a sure fact that when the murderer is sentenced to the death penalty they cannot come out and commit another crime. This is not revenge, it's justice.

Oh, aren't you funny. And witty. For anyone wanting to be a humourist, let be break this sentence down for you:

"Death penalty means they're dead, innit? Can't murder anyone then can they, because they've been murdered themselves LMAO."

I abhor the death penalty. If it did come back - and it might under this Government, y'know - I'll be on the first flight out of here. Not because I'd be particularly worried about my welfare (I'm not scheduled to murder anyone for a while, bar Val Duncan) but because I think it's appalling, hypocritical, misguided, barbaric and has the potential to cause all manner of problems. I present my case a bit more eloquently here:

In that blog post I admit how terrified I am at the prospect of there being a referendum on the Death Penalty. Thick cunts like you, GM Phillips from Ironbridge, fuel my fear.

Staggeringly, out of the two letters I'm putting up here for you to read, that one is the least offensive. This next one is....well, it's the motherload.

The writer of the letter "Victory for Gay Rights" should hang his/her head in shame. Just because the law now says homosexuality is accepted, the reality is that it is man's law. But when compared to God's law (which never changes) it is still wrong.

I think I've read that paragraph six times now. I still can't quite believe it.

It is clear man is exchanging truth for a lie. If this were not so, then why would the following verses be included in the Bible?

The Bible is a bucketload of shit, okay?

According to the Bible it is a sin to:

Get a divorce
Have sex before marriage
Accuse someone
Be angry
Feel anxious
Have an argument
Show arrogance
Be disobedient
And, of course, to be homosexual.

If we're taking the Bible verbatim, we're ALL fucked.

"Because of this, God gave them over to sinful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnat...

Actually, you know what?

I'm not even going to type out the rest of the quote. I do not care. If you desperately want to read it, apparently it's Romans 1:26-27, although in the index you'll find it under "more shit".

Name and address supplied says if there is a God, he would love everyone.

I find discussions and opinions about God so futile and unnecessary. Is there a God? I don't know, neither do you. There is no evidence to suggest there is, there's no evidence to prove there isn't. Whatever you think about God, whatever your religion, I wish people would just shut up and go about their lives in a nice, positive manner regardless. And if you really need a 'holy' old book to tell you what's right or wrong, then sort yourself out.

I just wonder how mankind could fulfil God's command to procreate if it were not through man and woman?

This is all just too little. It is too clumsy, too futile, too unintelligent, too insane to even comment on. It is also the end of the letter. apologies for the wiki link, but that page is interesting reading. Some people are gay. Some animals are gay. Get the fuck over it.

Congratulations Trevor Mytton from Shrewsbury. You've made the list.

1 comment:

  1. I like it that God's law never changes. That means you can do whatever you want to 'Name and Address Supplied' as long as it's not prohibited in the Bible, e.g. battering them in the face with a Segway. If they really get their morality from the Bible, they won't be allowed to be bothered by it.