Premier League Predictions

Last week, Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson got a superb 7 results right, with 4 perfect scores. Unbeatable, that. Ewarwoowar got 5 results right, with 1 perfect score. It's a massacre, and my faint hope for an overall draw has been dashed. I think that's 6-3 Lawro, so we come to the final weekend of the season much like Manchester United - not bothered, half-hearted, and looking forward to future pursuits instead. Let's go for it!

Arsenal vs Stoke - I feel I should say something nice about Stoke. So, through gitted teeth, well done to them for staying up, they proved me wrong. The great news is, they're going down next season! 3-0

Aston Villa vs Newcastle - Tricky one this. Villa are on their holidays, but in terms of quality they are light years ahead of the Toon. Bassong is suspended, that will be a big loss. Newcastle to be relegated. 2-0

Blackburn vs West Brom - I'm sorry to see the back of WBA. Not only were they an easy 6 points for United every season, but at least they embrace how football should be played, and were easy on the eye. Sadly, you can't defend like they have been doing in the Premier League. 2-1

Fulham vs Everton - Two manager of the year candidates here. Fulham have been the surprise package this year, even though their home form has always been good for the past few seasons. 1-1

Hull vs Man Utd - For the first time in a long, long time, I really don't care. All I can think about is next Wednesday evening. Hull to benefit from the side Fergie puts out. 2-0

Liverpool vs Tottenham - Nothing on this one. 3-0

Man City vs Bolton - Read a great quote about Mark Hughes the other day: "Very nice, polite man, but he looked tired and is clearly a distressed soul currently". Not easy for Sparky, feel sorry for him - I think he's gone at the end of the season, as City go after The Special One. 2-0

Sunderland vs Chelsea - Mackems still aren't safe, so they will be busting a gut here in front of their home fans. They might just eke out a draw. 1-1

West Ham vs Middlesbrough - Boro are shit, good riddance. Shit team, shit manager, shit fans, satisfactory stadium. They've taken far too many points off us down the years, and I won't miss them. 2-0

Wigan vs Portsmouth - Nothing on this one, except it will be Valencia's last game for Wigan (you heard it here 1,956th). 1-1

Phew, what a season, and ultimately a good one - the right team won. Here's to Number 19. Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson was talking to BBC Sport's Nabil Hassan. Ewarwoowar is talking to Merciless Public on MSN.