Well, isn't this exciting? I haven't done one of these for a while...as the actress said to the bishop! Ooh pardon!
Ahem. Yes, gallimaufry time now, where I round up a few things I need to tell you and shepherd them all into one nice blog post so that we all know where we stand. Let us begin...
1) Are you interested in basketball? Probably not, but if you are, or perhaps you WANT to take an interest in the sport (particularly in terms of the European game) I recommend http://mp06.wordpress.com/ which is a well-written and informative site created by a Twitter friend. My only criticism of the site would be that it needs more pro-Kobe Bryant pieces, but you can't have everything. Please do check it out.
2) I have started to write film reviews for a website. This is hilarious, seeing as I hate every film ever made, but after sending one off they asked me to write some more so what the hell. It's something to put on the writing CV and it gets me writing so I'm happy enough. The site is http://moviemarker.co.uk/wp/ and the three pieces I have done so far will just be underneath this paragraph. If you decide to have a look, it takes about 0.5 seconds to click on the appropriate star and rate the film out of 5 (note - you rate the film, not my review, thankfully). I'd really appreciate it if you did that. Even though it doesn't change anything at my end, loads of votes makes me look good, and we all want that.
http://moviemarker.co.uk/wp/index.php/zombieland/
http://moviemarker.co.uk/wp/index.php/road-to-perdition/
http://moviemarker.co.uk/wp/index.php/raging-bull/
3) Look away now, Cynical Ben! Yes, it's a quick note about one of my favourite TV programmes - Come Dine With Me - which this past week focused on The Dark Place itself, Wolverhampton. One of the five contestants was Student Union legend Bally Singh, who claimed a well-deserved third place despite making beans on toast as his starter. The five episodes will be on 4OD and your catch-up boxes for a limited time if you wish to have a gander.
4) My "other" blog, Patrick's Myopic Musings, will not be long for the blogging world. I have set in motion its demise.
This is not because I am bored with it, or a lack of stuff to put on it, or that nobody was looking at it. The truth is, I've been thinking for a while now about creating my own personal website which would house my writings (fiction and non fiction) and various other stuff. I would really like to split up my internet use into two clear camps - professional and real life, and then silly anonymous-ish stuff like this blog or Twitter. Which is why linking you to movie reviews containing my real name from this blog immediately contravenes that idea, but I've always been a fucking idiot.
Regardless. If I create a website and put up my writing/bits and bobs on there, the fiction writing blog becomes irrelevant and redundant, sadly, so it is going. I really liked putting up other people's writing on there though, so I'll probably still carry on doing that on t'other place.
5) On the subject of writing, there's a short story competition running over at http://www.ruberybookaward.com/ which is being judged by the incomparable Paul McDonald. I'm currently writing an entry, which certainly won't win, but I'm aiming for 3rd place. Deadline is on the 30th, so if you want to enter, hurry up, yeah?
6) I'd like to take a moment to congratulate all the people reading this who have just graduated from The Dark Place University, an august institution if ever I encountered one. Life is tough for graduates right now, but good people will always muddle their way through. To all of you I simply say "Hat!" and wish you well for the future.
Until next time kids!
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Letters Move On
Enough claptrap about my life in the "real world". Let's go back to what the people want! Crazy letters!
=============================================================
I would like to join the rest of the population in expressing my disgust at teachers striking.
This letter is from July 12th, so apologies for glancing back to past events, but it's so distasteful, arrogant and wrong-headed that I can't bring myself to ignore it and bin it.
Anyway, yes. The WHOLE population was against the teachers who went on strike. Nice to see they concluded that without asking me for my opinion on the matter, but hey ho.
Teachers obviously think that they should be immune from the situation that a government they supported brought the nation to.
If you can't be bothered to read this letter, here it is so far, summarised for you:
1) Everyone in the country opposed the teachers strikes (including the teachers themselves!)
2) Every teacher in the country supports the same political party.
They obviously feel the children are a useful tool to blackmail parents into supporting their demands that the rest of the nation should fund their
"Gold-plated"?
overly generous
Rotter.
pensions. I resent the fact that I work seven days a week to pay for their pensions while being unable to afford a pension of any kind myself due to high taxes.
I want to interrupt this letter for a moment, if I may. Because if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's Piers Morgan. No, wait, aside from him - it's people thinking that teachers somehow have it easy. We've just had the summer holidays, and my seven year old brother got to stay at home for six weeks. By day three, I was just about ready to strangle him. The thought of having to put up with him, as well as about 25 others, 9-3 every weekday, without resorting to frying pans around the head, is absolutely mental. No way could I do it.
Secondary school kids aren't any better, when you take into account their rowdiness, their sullenness and their chewing gum which always gets stuck on the underside of a table. Of course, it's not just 9-3 either. There's homework to set/mark, parent evenings, staying behind to supervise a child in detention, even coping with the politics of the staff room. They do all of this whilst under huge pressure to get kids through their exams and set them on the right path, an Ofsted inspection always just days away. Be a teacher? Not on your nelly would I.
They deserve their holidays. They deserve their pensions. They deserve praise. They deserve respect.
Which is why this letter is fucking me off quite a considerable amount. But let us indulge it for a few moments longer...
Teachers and all other so-called public servants
3) Teachers do not serve the public.
need to join the real world. If you want a generous pension then purchase one and pay for it like the rest of us. You can strike until the cows come home as far as I am concerned and I hope the Government stands firm because if it does not then they will suffer at the ballot box.
Mike Montane
Wellington
You've made it onto my list. Well done.
============================================================
Close down Wootton Bassett, it has become too English and traditional - can't have anything English and traditional can we?
If you read my blog often, you'll know who this letter writer is. If you don't, the unsurprising answer will be at the bottom.
By the way, I really like the idea of something being "too English".
"Breaking news coming into us here on Sky Sports News....the FA have released a statement saying that the contract of England U-21 manager Stuart Pearce has been terminated. "The FA would like to thank Stuart for all of his hard work", they say in this statement, "but it became clear that Stuart's services were no longer suitable after he became just too English".
Is CamEUron scared
I give up. I literally do. This is just...I genuinely don't know what to say.
of letting the world see the dead bodies of our troops that leave blood on his and Clegg's hands? Try and hide it away in Worcestershire or anywhere
"Worcestershire or anywhere" is an amazing, amazing bit of writing.
and hope there is no place anyone can come and pay respects.
It's only just re-reading this letter now that I see Val - yes, it's Val Duncan, who else - says "close down Wooton Bassett". Val Duncan thinks a town has been closed down. I'd cry if I didn't laugh.
Send the dead down motorways or back roads then the world won't see our grief? Destroy our military and force us into the EU Military Force? This 'fake' Prime Minister
David Cameron is a fake. The real Prime Minister is locked in a cupboard somewhere. It's in such a secretive location that not even Gideon Osbourne knows where it is. But he knows WHO it is, and isn't it interesting how you don't hear much from Michael Heseltine any more, eh?
is adding grievances to a list of things the people (remember us?) are keeping count of and one day Major (Maastricht Treaty), Blair and Brown (Lisbon Treaty) and Cameron and Clegg (Destroyers of our defences) will all stand in court to answer for their treason. The list grows longer and longer and the people (remember us?)
You've done that one.
are feeling more and more angry with the social engineering of our population, the wrecking of our economy and the insidious intrusion of the EU. Something will give and woe betide Westminster and those politicians and civil servants who are complicit in the destruction of our country. We will have revenge without mercy unless we are taken out of the insidious
You've done that one.
EU and given our own laws and liberties again.
This is vintage Val Duncan. Take it in, and enjoy. You'll miss this when she's gone.
We are a peaceful and just people, but we will not be sold to a foreign dictatorship while this Prime Minister pontificates over democracy for the likes of Libya and kills our own country for his own political ends and gold-plated pension
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! *punches the air*
via a wasteful and corrupt union.
Val Duncan
Wellington
Is there any way we can start an on-line campaign to make someone be considered as an MEP? Because I can't help thinking that Val would make an excellent candidate for that role.
Valerie Duncan MEP. You heard it here first, kids!
=============================================================
I would like to join the rest of the population in expressing my disgust at teachers striking.
This letter is from July 12th, so apologies for glancing back to past events, but it's so distasteful, arrogant and wrong-headed that I can't bring myself to ignore it and bin it.
Anyway, yes. The WHOLE population was against the teachers who went on strike. Nice to see they concluded that without asking me for my opinion on the matter, but hey ho.
Teachers obviously think that they should be immune from the situation that a government they supported brought the nation to.
If you can't be bothered to read this letter, here it is so far, summarised for you:
1) Everyone in the country opposed the teachers strikes (including the teachers themselves!)
2) Every teacher in the country supports the same political party.
They obviously feel the children are a useful tool to blackmail parents into supporting their demands that the rest of the nation should fund their
"Gold-plated"?
overly generous
Rotter.
pensions. I resent the fact that I work seven days a week to pay for their pensions while being unable to afford a pension of any kind myself due to high taxes.
I want to interrupt this letter for a moment, if I may. Because if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's Piers Morgan. No, wait, aside from him - it's people thinking that teachers somehow have it easy. We've just had the summer holidays, and my seven year old brother got to stay at home for six weeks. By day three, I was just about ready to strangle him. The thought of having to put up with him, as well as about 25 others, 9-3 every weekday, without resorting to frying pans around the head, is absolutely mental. No way could I do it.
Secondary school kids aren't any better, when you take into account their rowdiness, their sullenness and their chewing gum which always gets stuck on the underside of a table. Of course, it's not just 9-3 either. There's homework to set/mark, parent evenings, staying behind to supervise a child in detention, even coping with the politics of the staff room. They do all of this whilst under huge pressure to get kids through their exams and set them on the right path, an Ofsted inspection always just days away. Be a teacher? Not on your nelly would I.
They deserve their holidays. They deserve their pensions. They deserve praise. They deserve respect.
Which is why this letter is fucking me off quite a considerable amount. But let us indulge it for a few moments longer...
Teachers and all other so-called public servants
3) Teachers do not serve the public.
need to join the real world. If you want a generous pension then purchase one and pay for it like the rest of us. You can strike until the cows come home as far as I am concerned and I hope the Government stands firm because if it does not then they will suffer at the ballot box.
Mike Montane
Wellington
You've made it onto my list. Well done.
============================================================
Close down Wootton Bassett, it has become too English and traditional - can't have anything English and traditional can we?
If you read my blog often, you'll know who this letter writer is. If you don't, the unsurprising answer will be at the bottom.
By the way, I really like the idea of something being "too English".
"Breaking news coming into us here on Sky Sports News....the FA have released a statement saying that the contract of England U-21 manager Stuart Pearce has been terminated. "The FA would like to thank Stuart for all of his hard work", they say in this statement, "but it became clear that Stuart's services were no longer suitable after he became just too English".
Is CamEUron scared
I give up. I literally do. This is just...I genuinely don't know what to say.
of letting the world see the dead bodies of our troops that leave blood on his and Clegg's hands? Try and hide it away in Worcestershire or anywhere
"Worcestershire or anywhere" is an amazing, amazing bit of writing.
and hope there is no place anyone can come and pay respects.
It's only just re-reading this letter now that I see Val - yes, it's Val Duncan, who else - says "close down Wooton Bassett". Val Duncan thinks a town has been closed down. I'd cry if I didn't laugh.
Send the dead down motorways or back roads then the world won't see our grief? Destroy our military and force us into the EU Military Force? This 'fake' Prime Minister
David Cameron is a fake. The real Prime Minister is locked in a cupboard somewhere. It's in such a secretive location that not even Gideon Osbourne knows where it is. But he knows WHO it is, and isn't it interesting how you don't hear much from Michael Heseltine any more, eh?
is adding grievances to a list of things the people (remember us?) are keeping count of and one day Major (Maastricht Treaty), Blair and Brown (Lisbon Treaty) and Cameron and Clegg (Destroyers of our defences) will all stand in court to answer for their treason. The list grows longer and longer and the people (remember us?)
You've done that one.
are feeling more and more angry with the social engineering of our population, the wrecking of our economy and the insidious intrusion of the EU. Something will give and woe betide Westminster and those politicians and civil servants who are complicit in the destruction of our country. We will have revenge without mercy unless we are taken out of the insidious
You've done that one.
EU and given our own laws and liberties again.
This is vintage Val Duncan. Take it in, and enjoy. You'll miss this when she's gone.
We are a peaceful and just people, but we will not be sold to a foreign dictatorship while this Prime Minister pontificates over democracy for the likes of Libya and kills our own country for his own political ends and gold-plated pension
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! *punches the air*
via a wasteful and corrupt union.
Val Duncan
Wellington
Is there any way we can start an on-line campaign to make someone be considered as an MEP? Because I can't help thinking that Val would make an excellent candidate for that role.
Valerie Duncan MEP. You heard it here first, kids!
Saturday, 3 September 2011
Canary Row
Telling people about a wedding you've been to is like your Football Manager game or your holiday. Very interesting for you, but thoroughly dull and pointless for the person forced to listen to the whole sorry saga, desperately trying to finish their champagne so they can go off and get another glass and find someone far more interesting in the room. I understand that, and I sympathise, but a) It's my blog and b) I have pictures - albeit only about two - so that makes this blog post perfectly acceptable.
The drive from The Shire across the country to East Anglia took just over three hours. Our destination was Carrow Road, which you might know as a road in Norwich, but which you'll more likely know as the name of the football stadium located there. A rather plush Holiday Inn is located next door to the stadium, but alas my room faced the road and not the pitch. Here is a picture I took of the Carrow Road sign using the camera on my phone: http://twitpic.com/6dkaq0 You can't read that sign, can you? You'll just have to trust me on that one.
The wedding was on Sunday, and it was Saturday, so after checking in - where we stood behind the one and only Jimmy Tarbuck at reception - and unpacking we trundled over to a bar inside the football stadium entitled "Yellows" to meet up with the wedding party. We were greeted by my step-sister who was getting married for the second time - this time to an ardent Norwich City fan, hence the location. After a few hours of socialising, we all decided to go our separate ways for the evening (even though we were all in the same hotel), have dinner in different places and then an early night. On the way back to the rooms, we were once again reminded of what was going to happen the next day, and where: http://twitpic.com/6dkksm
Sunday arrived, and with it came a truckload of nerves, which were nice considering I wasn't actually doing anything in particular that day. As all around me tucked into their fried breakfasts, I cautiously had a few croissants with jam and a cup of tea. Strawberry, by the way, thanks for asking. The suits were put on and off we walked to the football ground, where, after the initial photos, we were ushered up three flights of stairs and into the room where the ceremony was taking place. Sitting on the second row, next to my big bro (that rhymes Marge!) we patiently waited. Ten to fifteen minutes later, a version of "Run" by Snow Patrol - sans lyrics - began to play, and we stood for the bride. I'm not going to lie - when my sister walked down the aisle with my dad beside her, I began to feel the tear ducts wobble a little, but one look at the picture of Darren Huckerby on the wall stopped that (I'm not joking either. He's a bit of a cult hero there, for some reason).
You know what a wedding ceremony is like, so let's skip that bit. A glass of Pimms, some canapes, more photos, a walk around the main stand and then back in for the meal. You may know that the Blessed Saint Delia Smith - best know in this country for her rousing and intoxicated "Let's be 'aving you" speech - is head honcho at Norwich City and the restaurant in the main stand comes with her seal of approval. To be fair to her, the meal was amazing: http://twitpic.com/6fjtdp
I could have done without the sorbet, which was rather unnecessary and just a palette cleanser, but I wasn't complaining. After the main course there were speeches which were touching and well handled, particularly the one from the best man who, as well as speaking, had taken the trouble to create a slideshow of pictures which were shown on the two TV screens on the wall. Pictures of the bride and groom, obviously. Not just any old pictures - that would have been odd. After the meal there was a tour of the ground hosted by a former player, but my younger brother was tired so I took him back to our room for a sleep via the bar where the United-Arsenal game was blaring out.
In the evening there was a disco, which took place in the same room as the main meal. After the gloriousness of the food a few hours earlier, the buffet that was laid on was a huge disappointment. Everything was either stale or thoroughly dull, and it was fortunate that we were all full up from the lunchtime meal and didn't have to eat a great deal. The disco was your standard fare - shit pop "classics", an over-enthusiastic DJ and middle-aged people doing the "walking to the dance floor walk" - but a really nice touch was a photo-booth set up at the end of the room which allowed you to put on some fancy dress/a stupid hat and have some pics taken. On that note, the author would like to point out he has no knowledge of who these two idiots are: http://twitpic.com/6fk9ag About 11pm we left, armed with a small box of chocolate footballs and a cupcake (http://twitpic.com/6fk9n3) each and that was pretty much that.
Highlight of the weekend? I'm ashamed to say it came on the Bank Holiday Monday. Before driving back home, we decided to have a walk round Norwich, which was perfectly lovely and splendid and just happens to contain a splendid Disney store. As a kid I was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh, particularly as I only lived about 20 miles away from Ashdown Forest, the setting for the stories. So when I saw this, I just couldn't resist: http://twitpic.com/6diwxq Drink not included.
The weekend as a whole got me thinking about marriage. I have always wanted to get married, but I honestly don't think I could go through with all of the rigmarole (at this late stage of the blog entry, what a word to pull out!) that goes with a lavish wedding. All of that planning and preparation...maybe it's fun, and exciting, and the day is certainly unforgettable, but I'm starting to think that maybe my Uncle was right. He and his lady flew off to New York, got married, had the honeymoon there, then came home. "Booked it, packed it, fucked off!" as Peter Kay would say, and neither of them have regretted it for a second.
So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy two tickets to Boston. I believe the Yanks allow civil partnerships now, so the second ticket is for my friend Dan. Toodles for now!
The drive from The Shire across the country to East Anglia took just over three hours. Our destination was Carrow Road, which you might know as a road in Norwich, but which you'll more likely know as the name of the football stadium located there. A rather plush Holiday Inn is located next door to the stadium, but alas my room faced the road and not the pitch. Here is a picture I took of the Carrow Road sign using the camera on my phone: http://twitpic.com/6dkaq0 You can't read that sign, can you? You'll just have to trust me on that one.
The wedding was on Sunday, and it was Saturday, so after checking in - where we stood behind the one and only Jimmy Tarbuck at reception - and unpacking we trundled over to a bar inside the football stadium entitled "Yellows" to meet up with the wedding party. We were greeted by my step-sister who was getting married for the second time - this time to an ardent Norwich City fan, hence the location. After a few hours of socialising, we all decided to go our separate ways for the evening (even though we were all in the same hotel), have dinner in different places and then an early night. On the way back to the rooms, we were once again reminded of what was going to happen the next day, and where: http://twitpic.com/6dkksm
Sunday arrived, and with it came a truckload of nerves, which were nice considering I wasn't actually doing anything in particular that day. As all around me tucked into their fried breakfasts, I cautiously had a few croissants with jam and a cup of tea. Strawberry, by the way, thanks for asking. The suits were put on and off we walked to the football ground, where, after the initial photos, we were ushered up three flights of stairs and into the room where the ceremony was taking place. Sitting on the second row, next to my big bro (that rhymes Marge!) we patiently waited. Ten to fifteen minutes later, a version of "Run" by Snow Patrol - sans lyrics - began to play, and we stood for the bride. I'm not going to lie - when my sister walked down the aisle with my dad beside her, I began to feel the tear ducts wobble a little, but one look at the picture of Darren Huckerby on the wall stopped that (I'm not joking either. He's a bit of a cult hero there, for some reason).
You know what a wedding ceremony is like, so let's skip that bit. A glass of Pimms, some canapes, more photos, a walk around the main stand and then back in for the meal. You may know that the Blessed Saint Delia Smith - best know in this country for her rousing and intoxicated "Let's be 'aving you" speech - is head honcho at Norwich City and the restaurant in the main stand comes with her seal of approval. To be fair to her, the meal was amazing: http://twitpic.com/6fjtdp
I could have done without the sorbet, which was rather unnecessary and just a palette cleanser, but I wasn't complaining. After the main course there were speeches which were touching and well handled, particularly the one from the best man who, as well as speaking, had taken the trouble to create a slideshow of pictures which were shown on the two TV screens on the wall. Pictures of the bride and groom, obviously. Not just any old pictures - that would have been odd. After the meal there was a tour of the ground hosted by a former player, but my younger brother was tired so I took him back to our room for a sleep via the bar where the United-Arsenal game was blaring out.
In the evening there was a disco, which took place in the same room as the main meal. After the gloriousness of the food a few hours earlier, the buffet that was laid on was a huge disappointment. Everything was either stale or thoroughly dull, and it was fortunate that we were all full up from the lunchtime meal and didn't have to eat a great deal. The disco was your standard fare - shit pop "classics", an over-enthusiastic DJ and middle-aged people doing the "walking to the dance floor walk" - but a really nice touch was a photo-booth set up at the end of the room which allowed you to put on some fancy dress/a stupid hat and have some pics taken. On that note, the author would like to point out he has no knowledge of who these two idiots are: http://twitpic.com/6fk9ag About 11pm we left, armed with a small box of chocolate footballs and a cupcake (http://twitpic.com/6fk9n3) each and that was pretty much that.
Highlight of the weekend? I'm ashamed to say it came on the Bank Holiday Monday. Before driving back home, we decided to have a walk round Norwich, which was perfectly lovely and splendid and just happens to contain a splendid Disney store. As a kid I was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh, particularly as I only lived about 20 miles away from Ashdown Forest, the setting for the stories. So when I saw this, I just couldn't resist: http://twitpic.com/6diwxq Drink not included.
The weekend as a whole got me thinking about marriage. I have always wanted to get married, but I honestly don't think I could go through with all of the rigmarole (at this late stage of the blog entry, what a word to pull out!) that goes with a lavish wedding. All of that planning and preparation...maybe it's fun, and exciting, and the day is certainly unforgettable, but I'm starting to think that maybe my Uncle was right. He and his lady flew off to New York, got married, had the honeymoon there, then came home. "Booked it, packed it, fucked off!" as Peter Kay would say, and neither of them have regretted it for a second.
So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy two tickets to Boston. I believe the Yanks allow civil partnerships now, so the second ticket is for my friend Dan. Toodles for now!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
The One Where I Ponder Life
In four months time, it will be December. December 2011, to be precise, and I will be twenty five years old.
25. Twenty five. XXV. A quarter of a century.
For the first time ever, my age is beginning to freak me out. Because in December I'll be 25, and that feels an eternity away from 20, yet ominously close to 30. Before I know it, I'll be wearing cardigans, and sandals. I'll have a drawer set aside for handkerchiefs. 11pm will be considered a "late night", and I'll find myself agreeing with Ken Clarke.
The funny thing however is that I've always been a bit like that anyway. I had my childhood stage, the awful puberty stage, and then I seemed to skip the stage where everyone tried drugs, went to raves and music festivals and instead ploughed straight on to adulthood. I did a personality test the other day which told me that I was a 50 year old man stuck in a 24 year old body. Not literally - that would be odd - but you and I both know what it meant. For Gods sake, I fucking love sherry. And Pimms! So not only am I middle-aged, but I'm middle-class as well. How strange it is then that growing old terrifies me ever so slightly.
I've never, ever been physically fit, but this past year or so, I can feel the change. I've lost half a step, and I know it. I can feel the pain in the back of my legs whilst walking up The Wrekin. I can feel my stomach muscles aching a day after I've done gardening. Gardening, by the way! You see! Most of all, I can feel how sensitive my ankles are, after "going over" on them (particularly my left) once or twice a month. I was watching my football club play tonight. Our goalkeeper is 20, and the average age of the side was 23. Lewis Hamilton had won a F1 World Championship by the age of 25, Rory McIlroy a US Open. I appreciate none of that is exclusive to me, but, Christ, it makes me feel old.
I'm currently re-reading one of my favourite novels - 'Le Grand Meaulnes', written by Alain-Fournier. Two things strike me whilst reading it - a) How it's a precursor to 'Catcher in the Rye' (another novel that I love) and b) How both novels aren't about "coming of age" as many people think, but instead the exact opposite. They're "refusal to age" novels. For all the world-weariness and maturity shown by Augustine Meaulnes and Holden Caulfield in places, both of them are young adults who just can't force themselves to let go of their childlike tendencies. The reason why I love these books is because I can relate to them. I read Holden Caulfield and thought "fucking hell - that's me" and it's true.
Every one of you reading this will know this question: "What's the meaning of life?"
I hate to brag, but I reckon I solved that one a long time ago. The meaning of life, in my opinion, is to reproduce. Because if you don't do that, than your species dies, so your whole purpose is to keep the chain trundling along so that it's still going strong 100 years after you've pegged it. Here's where I become Augustine though. On one hand, all I want in life - realistically - is to fulfil that, to have a wife and a child. On the other, I want to watch baseball, eat crisps and try and get a degree without giving a solitary fuck.
What words scare you, if any? For me, it's words like "mortgage", "marriage" and most importantly of all "responsibility". The hilarious thing however is that I want all of those things, in the sense that I'll need a mortgage to have my own house, I'll need to take responsibility if I ever raise a child. Every time I dare to stick my neck above the parapet however I instantly think "fuck that" and go back to watching The Jerry Springer Show and tweeting some bollocks. How odd it is that the things I want the most are the things that terrify me the most.
I'm rambling and this is all pointless bollocks so time to wrap it up. In conclusion, I'm a man who's 24 going on 50 who also needs to grow up a bit. Nice to meet you. Now, who the hell are you?
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Letters Pray
It's been well over a month since I've looked at some letters into The Shropshire Star, and the papers I've saved especially for this reason have begun to fester a little bit and really need binning. So, let's cut the small talk here and go go go. I'm treating you by lining up a Val Duncan DOUBLE-BILL first!
==================================================================
Cameron says: "If I was running a Conservative-only Government I think we would be making further steps on things like immigration control or making sure that our welfare reforms were absolutely making sure that if you're not prepared to work you can't go on welfare. I think we'd be tougher than that."
Right.
A very bad statement to make because Cameron is already known as Mr U-turn and this confirms we have a very weak Prime Minister who will give ground for an easy ride. Time to change the leader and put someone in place who has a backbone.
Who? I don't agree with Val's opinion here, but let's run with this last sentence. You get rid of D-Cam, and you replace him with....who exactly? Gideon? Michael Gove?
*little devil on Ewar's shoulder* "Don't you like David Davis and think he'd be a good leader?"
SHUT UP, YOU!
Also, Val seems to be criticising the fact that a leader operating in a coalition Government is making it very clear that he's the leader of a coalition Government. Boo! Send him to the stocks!
The Prime Minister made a speech a few months ago enthusiastically welcoming Turkey's 78 million into the EU, which of course means unfettered access to England which is already chronically overcrowded. That's how serious he is about mass immigration.
Of course it does. That is, OF COURSE, what it means. All of these Turkish people are now able to come over here now that they've joined the EU. I'm looking forward to meeting a Turkish person! We've never had one in this country before, of course.
Now please just excuse me whilst I go and get a kebab. Lovely guys down at my local kebab house. No idea where they come from!
We could virtually stop immigration in its tracks if we stopped the benefit system (but I suppose this isn't allowed by the EU!)
Lol!
David Cameron is the biggest disaster ever. Need I add more?
"The Biggest Disasters Ever - A List by Val Duncan"
5 Hindenburg
4 Munich Air Disaster
3 Titanic
2 Pompeii
1 David Cameron
Val Duncan
Wellington
================================================================
Europe wants to raise the percentage of reduction of carbon footprints from 20% to 30%?
That is a brilliant idea.
What a brilliant idea.
I know! Good, isn't it?
Let us send all manufacturing and wealth creating to China or even India...we can all sit back and let China and India send us financial aid.
Hmm?
Can I ask just when our Prime Minister is going to start thinking about Britain? Please Mr Cameron will you stop looking in the mirror and practising looking important on the world stage and start looking at the state of our country instead.
This is really annoying, as Val wrote this BEFORE Cameron decided to stay on his holidays rather than come back to the UK once the looting started, so reading this now it appears that she has a point. Damn you D-Cam! Nevertheless, I like this paragraph a lot more when you take it literally, and imagine our Prime Minister taking a few moments every day to look in the mirror and "practice looking important".
Whilst I'm here - "Europe wants to..." suddenly becomes all about Cameron and Britain. Far be it for me to try and wade through Val Duncan's thoughts and make some sort of sense out of them, but I'm not sure this really makes any sense whatsoever. As we've seen in the past, she HATES a federal Europe, but now she wants Europe to keep all of it's profitable manufacturing going whilst banning David Cameron from looking in mirrors.
I think?
We are under-educated and under-defended;
Speak for yourself.
unemployment is abysmal; we are cutting everything and paying more for essentials. Either get a grip or stand down. You are not up to the job.
I for one welcome our new David Davis led overlords!
Val Duncan
Bratton
Seriously, you were from Wellington a few minutes ago. What's going on?
===============================================================
There's only so much Val Duncan a man can take, so let's move on.
Is Nato finished?
No.
One good reason it will not survive - it is costing America too much.
Wrong.
Allan Tucker
Oswestry
Thanks Allan!
To be honest, I secretly like Allan Tucker. If you're going to be wrong - and he ALWAYS is - it's better to be wrong in about 12 words then 1,200.
================================================================
I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -
This is going to be a boring letter. Does anyone want a cup of tea? I'm just on my way to the kitchen, so if you want anything shout now or forever hol...hang on, what? Can you repeat that?
I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -
Wow. And I mean that.
a perfectly innocent comment! Not a slur!
When I get to about 70, can someone just put me down, please? I don't want to end up like this person, or like my Gran, who goes to church several times a week yet is the biggest racist I know.
The thing is, she doesn't do it deliberately - it's just the attitude that she's grown up with, and now times have changed she can't adapt. But that's a race thing. Surely there's never been an acceptable time to flippantly describe someone, in a social context, as "the fat girl"?
It reminds me a little of Father Ted, the way that Matthews and Linehan named their characters - "The Dancing Priest", "The Boring Priest" and so on.
I was told by the obviously educated lady serving that I should not say such things etc.
If there's one thing I fucking hate - and which we need less of - it's educated people. Fuck off, learned people! Take a hike, socially aware, diplomatic, courteous and kind folk!
What a narrow-minded nasty little world the politically correct brigade have brought about!
And......I'm bailing.
J H Price
Madeley
I read the letters page every day, yet I've never seen this name before. That, combined with the last sentence, makes me think that I'm being had here.
Because this is a wind-up, isn't it? It has to be. I don't want to exaggerate my power and influence(!) but I do get readers landing on these blog entries often having Googled a letter writers name. There's a danger that combing through the letters pages, I've set myself up for a right merking - someone has seen this blog and tried to reel me in with a letter like this.
JH Price from Madeley. My eye is very much trained on you. Fat boy.
==================================================================
One more.
I cannot believe the content of Val Duncan's letter (July 4th). While I am concerned about the way some immigrants seem to get benefits, it's obvious that most of that letter is untrue, very inflammatory and intended to stir up racial hatred.
Ron Jones
St Martins
Ooof! It's Ron Jones 1-0 Val Duncan!
Can Val equalise?! Join us next time to find out, kids!
==================================================================
Cameron says: "If I was running a Conservative-only Government I think we would be making further steps on things like immigration control or making sure that our welfare reforms were absolutely making sure that if you're not prepared to work you can't go on welfare. I think we'd be tougher than that."
Right.
A very bad statement to make because Cameron is already known as Mr U-turn and this confirms we have a very weak Prime Minister who will give ground for an easy ride. Time to change the leader and put someone in place who has a backbone.
Who? I don't agree with Val's opinion here, but let's run with this last sentence. You get rid of D-Cam, and you replace him with....who exactly? Gideon? Michael Gove?
*little devil on Ewar's shoulder* "Don't you like David Davis and think he'd be a good leader?"
SHUT UP, YOU!
Also, Val seems to be criticising the fact that a leader operating in a coalition Government is making it very clear that he's the leader of a coalition Government. Boo! Send him to the stocks!
The Prime Minister made a speech a few months ago enthusiastically welcoming Turkey's 78 million into the EU, which of course means unfettered access to England which is already chronically overcrowded. That's how serious he is about mass immigration.
Of course it does. That is, OF COURSE, what it means. All of these Turkish people are now able to come over here now that they've joined the EU. I'm looking forward to meeting a Turkish person! We've never had one in this country before, of course.
Now please just excuse me whilst I go and get a kebab. Lovely guys down at my local kebab house. No idea where they come from!
We could virtually stop immigration in its tracks if we stopped the benefit system (but I suppose this isn't allowed by the EU!)
Lol!
David Cameron is the biggest disaster ever. Need I add more?
"The Biggest Disasters Ever - A List by Val Duncan"
5 Hindenburg
4 Munich Air Disaster
3 Titanic
2 Pompeii
1 David Cameron
Val Duncan
Wellington
================================================================
Europe wants to raise the percentage of reduction of carbon footprints from 20% to 30%?
That is a brilliant idea.
What a brilliant idea.
I know! Good, isn't it?
Let us send all manufacturing and wealth creating to China or even India...we can all sit back and let China and India send us financial aid.
Hmm?
Can I ask just when our Prime Minister is going to start thinking about Britain? Please Mr Cameron will you stop looking in the mirror and practising looking important on the world stage and start looking at the state of our country instead.
This is really annoying, as Val wrote this BEFORE Cameron decided to stay on his holidays rather than come back to the UK once the looting started, so reading this now it appears that she has a point. Damn you D-Cam! Nevertheless, I like this paragraph a lot more when you take it literally, and imagine our Prime Minister taking a few moments every day to look in the mirror and "practice looking important".
Whilst I'm here - "Europe wants to..." suddenly becomes all about Cameron and Britain. Far be it for me to try and wade through Val Duncan's thoughts and make some sort of sense out of them, but I'm not sure this really makes any sense whatsoever. As we've seen in the past, she HATES a federal Europe, but now she wants Europe to keep all of it's profitable manufacturing going whilst banning David Cameron from looking in mirrors.
I think?
We are under-educated and under-defended;
Speak for yourself.
unemployment is abysmal; we are cutting everything and paying more for essentials. Either get a grip or stand down. You are not up to the job.
I for one welcome our new David Davis led overlords!
Val Duncan
Bratton
Seriously, you were from Wellington a few minutes ago. What's going on?
===============================================================
There's only so much Val Duncan a man can take, so let's move on.
Is Nato finished?
No.
One good reason it will not survive - it is costing America too much.
Wrong.
Allan Tucker
Oswestry
Thanks Allan!
To be honest, I secretly like Allan Tucker. If you're going to be wrong - and he ALWAYS is - it's better to be wrong in about 12 words then 1,200.
================================================================
I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -
This is going to be a boring letter. Does anyone want a cup of tea? I'm just on my way to the kitchen, so if you want anything shout now or forever hol...hang on, what? Can you repeat that?
I have just been in a local shop and asked where was the fat (very helpful and efficient) girl -
Wow. And I mean that.
a perfectly innocent comment! Not a slur!
When I get to about 70, can someone just put me down, please? I don't want to end up like this person, or like my Gran, who goes to church several times a week yet is the biggest racist I know.
The thing is, she doesn't do it deliberately - it's just the attitude that she's grown up with, and now times have changed she can't adapt. But that's a race thing. Surely there's never been an acceptable time to flippantly describe someone, in a social context, as "the fat girl"?
It reminds me a little of Father Ted, the way that Matthews and Linehan named their characters - "The Dancing Priest", "The Boring Priest" and so on.
I was told by the obviously educated lady serving that I should not say such things etc.
If there's one thing I fucking hate - and which we need less of - it's educated people. Fuck off, learned people! Take a hike, socially aware, diplomatic, courteous and kind folk!
What a narrow-minded nasty little world the politically correct brigade have brought about!
And......I'm bailing.
J H Price
Madeley
I read the letters page every day, yet I've never seen this name before. That, combined with the last sentence, makes me think that I'm being had here.
Because this is a wind-up, isn't it? It has to be. I don't want to exaggerate my power and influence(!) but I do get readers landing on these blog entries often having Googled a letter writers name. There's a danger that combing through the letters pages, I've set myself up for a right merking - someone has seen this blog and tried to reel me in with a letter like this.
JH Price from Madeley. My eye is very much trained on you. Fat boy.
==================================================================
One more.
I cannot believe the content of Val Duncan's letter (July 4th). While I am concerned about the way some immigrants seem to get benefits, it's obvious that most of that letter is untrue, very inflammatory and intended to stir up racial hatred.
Ron Jones
St Martins
Ooof! It's Ron Jones 1-0 Val Duncan!
Can Val equalise?! Join us next time to find out, kids!
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
OMFG Football!!
Alright?
It was the Community Shield on Sunday, and what a game it was. Regardless of the result however, the match signalled one very important thing - that the new Premier League season is just days away. Exciting, huh?
So allow me to now subdue all that excitement by giving you my Premier League Guide - a quick look at every team before a predicted table which will be thought up off the top of my head. I started writing this on August 8th, finished it on August 10th. The transfer deadline closes at the end of the month. Bear that in mind when I ponder why Chelsea/Arsenal etc haven't signed a midfielder/defender etc yet.
ARSENAL - How long can this continue? For the Gunners last season, it was the same old story - good football, big attendances, stylish players, mental fragility, lack of leaders, a player pining for La Rambla, poor goalkeeper, poor centre halves, stressed manager.
You'd cry if you didn't laugh. Has one game EVER summed up a team as much as Newcastle 4-4 Arsenal did? The really funny thing is that EVERYONE outside of The Emirates know what they need - A goalkeeper. A hard as nails centre half. A spiteful bastard in the middle of the pitch. A miracle to keep Robin van Persie fit.
They'll be Top 4. They'll play, at times, sensational football. They'll blow away teams lower down the league. They'll not win a sausage. Again. How much longer?
ASTON VILLA - When a manager is appointed whom the home crowd instantly dislike, it's very VERY difficult for the man in charge to get them on board and win them round. Alex McLeish has a real job on his hands at Villa, you feel. The Villa fanbase just don't do "solid, steady, defensive" - the things that McLeish preached at their neighbours - and would it surprise anyone if he was sacked 3/4 into the season with the team languishing in about 14th? They won't go down, and N'Zogbia is a nice replacement for Ashley Young, but Villa fans shouldn't get their hopes up.
BLACKBURN ROVERS - As I said to my father the other day: "Blackburn. Now there's a team who are going down." Because they are, aren't they? There's no argument I can make for them staying up, to be honest. Who's going to score their goals? Their forward options:
Nick Blackman. Who? Mauro Formica. Who? David Goodwillie. Who? David Hoilett. Promising, but still raw. Nikola Kalinic. Really? Jason Roberts. Meh. Ruben Rochina. WHO?
When you combine their weak squad with their inexperienced and no-name manager, and then mix all that in with their laughable owners, I can't see anything else than the drop. And once they go, you fear they won't be back for a while.
BOLTON WANDERERS - This is a big season for Bolton. With an ambitious, confident and enthusiastic young manager at the helm, they could push on and improve on their 14th place of last season. OR they can go back to being over-reliant on the thuggery of Kevin Davies for their goals and continue being...well...decent, but not exactly scintillating. Their football now is a million miles away from the nonsense dreamt up by Gary Megson though, and that should be applauded. They'll be fine.
CHELSEA - 2nd, 2nd, 3rd, 1st, 2nd. That's Chelsea over the past five seasons, so you know what you get with them. They have the leaders and the toughness that Arsenal lack, and their first XI is still powerful, strong and on their day dominant. But the squad is ageing, and let's not even mention the Torres headache. Can they win the league? They can, but you feel the answer to that question boils down to the senior players and their relationship with the new manager, Andre Villas-Boas. Their home form however means they are still a lock for the Top 3.
EVERTON - How long can this continue? Everton are absolutely skint, a fact which can be used as evidence when extolling the virtues of their manager David Moyes. What more can he do at the club? Nothing - certainly nothing with the current ownership in charge. Bill Kenwright is a good man, and a good owner, but he can't cope with the money that's thrown around the league nowadays. Midtable is where they will be, probably after a slow start.
FULHAM - "What on Earth happened with Mark Hughes?" is the thing that springs to mind with Fulham. Before his strange exit, Fulham were being Fulham - strong at home, poor away from home, playing nice football and generally being everyone's second-favourite Premier League team. Martin Jol should carry that on, but you get the feeling an awful lot rests on Bobby Zamora's shoulders.
LIVERPOOL - I have to talk about them? I do. Hmmph. Well, they massively overpaid for Jordan Henderson, and Charlie Adam is SHITE. Luis Suarez is top quality, but how tired will he be after a lengthy Copa America? They'll score more than last season - look out for the Downing/Carroll combination - but their defence is susceptible. How much longer does Jamie Carragher have left? Top 4? Possible, but I'd bet on 5th being their final position.
MANCHESTER city - They're getting noisier, let's not pretend otherwise, but the key question is this - can
city win the league under Roberto Mancini? On the outside, he's the calm and elegant Italian, but you can tell that inside he's unsure where to turn. Great job, great squad, but the pressure and the nonsense that goes with it must be a nightmare for him. And that's just Mario Balotelli.
Going back to the question - they've got a great chance, and you can't help thinking that a league title will be theirs sooner rather than later. But this season? So much depends on Carlos Tevez - not just his goals, but his workrate up front. If he stays, they'll get close. Real close.
THE GREATEST FOOTBALL CLUB IN THE WORLD - Wesley Sneijder.
Good, that's his name out of the way. What a shame that an excellent pre-season for the 19-times champions has been eclipsed by the torturous, endless "will he, won't he" W.S. saga. It's got to the stage now where whatever the outcome, just get it over with already. It is exhausting, and thoroughly dull.
Whether he comes or not, the size of Sir Alex's squad does pose a few questions. Where does Danny Welbeck play? Who starts on the flanks? Tom Cleverley - what do you do with him? Kiko Macheda? Michael Owen? Where does Phil Jones play? What about Dimitar Berbatov, for Gods sake. He was top scorer last season! Who starts as #1 goalkeeper? Why the hell is Darron Gibson still here?
But there's one other issue on my mind. I have to whisper this very quietly, as he's hugely popular - but Patrice Evra had a really poor season last year, an issue that wasn't really helped by the nonsense in the French camp at the World Cup, and then Sir Alex's desire to play him as much as possible. I'd love to see Fabio get more games at left-back this year, if only to give Paddy some sodding rest.
Chances this season? United go in as favourites, and it'd take a brave man to bet against them all the time Sir Alex is at the helm. If they improve their away form, they will be celebrating title #20 next May.
NEWCASTLE UNITED - To be perfectly honest, I don't have a clue with this one. I really don't. Most of the time I'm pretty certain that Newcastle United themselves don't really know what's going on at Newcastle United. They finished 12th last season, which was a fabulous effort, but you do wonder if they can get close to repeating that this time around. Amongst all the silliness however, there's some decent players. Hatem Ben Arfa is highly skilful, Yohan Cabaye has done well in France, Jose Enrique is one of the league's underrated players. The problem is that regardless of the squad, madness is always just round the corner at St James Park. Will letting Kevin Nolan and Joey Barton go come back to haunt them?
NORWICH CITY - Back to back promotions see Norwich back in the Premier League, a rise masterminded by promising manager Paul Lambert. Can they survive? It's going to be very, very difficult - you can't help thinking that they're totally reliant on Grant Holt for their goals, and their squad doesn't read very impressively on paper. Urged on by a strong home support, they might....might....just do it.
QUEENS PARK RANGERS - Ah, and it's a welcome return to Neil "Colin" Warnock back to the Premier League. Haven't we missed him?
Would it be unfair to pin all their hopes on Adel Taarabt staying? Perhaps, but it's clear that he's the stand out talent in that squad. Last season QPR were strong defensively and they'll need to continue that in the top division, particularly as you can't see DJ Campbell and Jay Bothroyd scoring a bucketful of goals. Whatever you think about him, Warnock is a canny operator, and his rapport with his players goes a long way. It should be eventful.
STOKE CITY - Sigh. For the past three years I've hoped and prayed that the rugby team will get relegated, but alas, nothing has been doing. So, this season, I'm going to confidently predict they'll be mid-table in the hope of a jinx.
What can we expect this season then? Dare I suggest it will be a lot of oohing and ahhing over someone throwing a football a long way? An over-reliance on set pieces? The centre halves hoofing the ball upto Kenwyne Jones at every available second? Thuggery from Andy Wilkinson and Ryan Shawcross?
Maybe Stoke City will surprise me. Maybe they'll play like Brazil 1970, and if they do then I'll be the first to applaud them. I shan't be holding my breath though.
SUNDERLAND - Now here's a funny one. On paper, everything looks very rosy for the Mackems - they've improved their league position year on year for the past three seasons, they've just signed players with excellent experience such as John O'Shea and Wes Brown and have tempted promising young players such as Connor Wickham to join the club. But after the exit of Darren Bent, Sunderland went on a dangerously bad run, not winning a single league game in February and March and damaging fatally their quest for Europe which had looked good at Christmas.
Steve Bruce is a good manager, who's made good signings. They'll be fine, certainly, but how high can they go?
SWANSEA CITY - Is it lazy to call them "the new Blackpool"? It is, but you can't help doing it, as there's so many similarities between them. Looking through their squad, the stand out name is Danny Graham, the £3.5m signing who was so highly rated at Watford. It's a big ask for him to keep them in the division, however. Don't be surprised if Swansea are Top 6 after 10 games, top half at Christmas, bottom three in May.
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR - Harry? Harry, are you there? What's going on? It's August 10th and you've signed three players, two of which were on free transfers. What's happened to the "fackin' wheeler dealer" you pretend you're not?
Tottenham still have a Top 6 squad, and without the distraction of the Champions League they look well placed to challenge once again for the Top 4. Can they do it, though? At the time of writing, you wonder if they have the firepower to do so. They may have to settle for 6th.
WEST BROMWICH ALBION - Well done Jeremy Peace. In possibly the boldest move of last season, the chairman of the Midlands club decided that although they weren't in the relegation zone, Roberto di Matteo's brand of football was too open and too risky for staying in the league which is so financially crucial. He gambled, and he got it right. The appointment of Roy Hodgson was a masterstroke, and Roy will keep things very stable there this season as well.
WIGAN ATHLETIC - On the field, the Premier League need more teams like Wigan - teams ran by bright young managers who demand good football and an emphasis on flair. Off the field, Wigan Athletic are the last team the Premier League wants. It's a rugby town - always has been, always will be - and you wonder just what exactly is needed to get more people attending games at the DW Stadium.
It's really difficult to know what to predict with Wigan. They've survived - just - the last two seasons, which suggests that they'll be in trouble again. But Roberto Martinez wants a Top 10 finish, and they're a side who can get on a hot streak and boast a dangerous striker in Hugo Rodallega. For Wigan, it could be going down to the last day of the season again.
WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS - You know what you get with a Mick McCarthy side. They'll battle, they'll compete, they'll be a tough opponent in their backyard, and they'll have a splash of quality, but not much. They beat Manchester United, Manchester city and Chelsea last season, so they're no mugs, and in Matt Jarvis, Kevin Doyle and Jamie O'Hara they do have some good players. Roger Johnson is a big signing for them, although you do wonder if they overpaid when splashing out £7m on the tall defender. I think they'll stay up, but you wonder how much further McCarthy can take them.
1 Manchester United
2 Manchester city
3 Chelsea
4 Arsenal
5 Liverpool
6 Tottenham
7 Sunderland
8 Everton
9 Fulham
10 Stoke
11 Aston Villa
12 Bolton
13 West Bromwich Albion
14 Newcastle United
15 Wolverhampton Wanderers
16 Wigan Athletic
17 Norwich
18 QPR
19 Blackburn
20 Swansea
Saturday, 30 July 2011
How Very Interesting
Over on the right hand side of the screen (if you scroll down a bit) you should be able to see a graph entitled ''My Political Views". Now I know you, reader - I understand that you can read - but just for the sake of reference, allow me to just write here what the graph said about me:
'I am a centrist social moderate. Left: 0.8 Libertarian: 0.63'
When I was messing about on here the other day, I noticed the graph and realised it had been a wee while since I had actually done that test. A quick rummage around my archives (steady) confirmed that - it had been late August 2009, almost two years ago, when I had given my opinions on two pages worth of statements. So, I did it again. The results surprised me slightly:
My Political Views
I am a left social moderate
Left: 4.04, Libertarian: 0.95
Political Spectrum Quiz
So I've gone from being a Centrist to a Lefty. Naturally this appals me, so here's my comprehensive plan to sort myself out:
1) Stop being corrupted by The Vole
2) Devour all the Clarkson books I haven't got round to yet
3) Look at more pictures of Nicola Blackwood
4) Play more golf
5) Hope that time does its thing and I get more right-wing as I get older, as most people do
How difficult can all that be?! Not difficult at all, so I'm now off to find a friend called Tarquin. I'll be having affairs with Jodie Kidd before you know it!
Tally-ho what!
'I am a centrist social moderate. Left: 0.8 Libertarian: 0.63'
When I was messing about on here the other day, I noticed the graph and realised it had been a wee while since I had actually done that test. A quick rummage around my archives (steady) confirmed that - it had been late August 2009, almost two years ago, when I had given my opinions on two pages worth of statements. So, I did it again. The results surprised me slightly:
My Political Views
I am a left social moderate
Left: 4.04, Libertarian: 0.95
Political Spectrum Quiz
So I've gone from being a Centrist to a Lefty. Naturally this appals me, so here's my comprehensive plan to sort myself out:
1) Stop being corrupted by The Vole
2) Devour all the Clarkson books I haven't got round to yet
3) Look at more pictures of Nicola Blackwood
4) Play more golf
5) Hope that time does its thing and I get more right-wing as I get older, as most people do
How difficult can all that be?! Not difficult at all, so I'm now off to find a friend called Tarquin. I'll be having affairs with Jodie Kidd before you know it!
Tally-ho what!
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