Fantasy Football Leaderboard

A few of my loyal readers are participating in a Fantasy Football league that myself and Merciless Public have got running, so here's the first installment of something which will become a regular thing on my blog throughout the season - the leaderboard so far!

Some interesting results in Gameweeks 1 & 2. Arsenal scoring 6 away at Everton, Burnley beating United, Chelsea just scraping past Hull at home. Notable individual performances have included Darren Bent, Cesc Fabregas, Jermain Defoe and Didier Drogba. Let's see how the league is shaping up at this early stage...

1) FATHEADZ BOYS FC (Colby)

2) Tommy Tank FC (Mitchell)

3) Clunge FC (Dylan)

4) Cynical Ben (Ben)

5) Melchester Rovers (Daniel)

=5) Fantasy FC (Rob)

7) Crem de la Prem (Andy)

8) Dynamo Sawyer (Richard)

9) The Lamplight Tandem (Jon)

10) Boddy Dazzler FC (Darryl)

11) Miller-Urey XI (Don)

12) Renford Rejects (Patrick)

13) IsTonyDaleyElectric? (Shaun)

14) Warrior's XI (Arun)

Early days yet...at least that's what I'm telling myself.

The Final Word

It looks like the replies from the celebs to our "Marmite or Bovril" teaser have finally dried up, so instead of updating the previous post with the rest of the responses (I've edited my last post now accordingly), I thought I would collate our findings here and then wrap all of this nonsense up with a nice little bow on top. So, without further ado, here are some celebrities, declaring whether they prefer Bovril or Marmite (or vegemite):

Alexander Armstrong - "oh it's probably bovril but we don't usually have any in the house so I make do with marmite"

Andi Peters - "Marmite for me."

Angellica Bell - "my friend it has to be MARMITE over bovril all the way!"

Caitlin Moran - "absofuckinglutely Marmite, my friend"

Chris Addison - "The answer is Yes! I do!"

Dave Gorman - "Marmite. Obviously."

Dawn Porter - "marmite. Bovril manufacturers should be locked up!"

Francesca Sandford - "marmite till I die!! marmite till I die!!"

Jonathan Ross - "Marmite for sandwiches and toast, bovril to drink."

Katherine Jenkins - "Neither really! If I had to say one it would be Bovril x"

(You can see quite clearly at the end there that Katherine Jenkins sent me a kiss. I think that conclusively proves that this has not been one massive, pathetic waste of time.)

Krishnan Guru-Murphy - "marmite"

Miranda Hart - "Bovril over Marmite every time."

Mitch Benn - "Marmite, cos it gives me an excuse to eat toast, & I love toast. Regard it as more a butter delivery system than anything else"

Peter Serafinowicz - "I don't really like either of them. Plese both send me £20."

Phil Tufnell - "marmite all day long."

Sam Matterface - "marmite everytime! I hate bovril"

Sarah Cawood - "bovril to drink, marmite to spread!!"

Simon Mayo - "obviously, Marmite is sooooo much better. Does that help?"

Suzi Perry - "marmite but love both"

Tim Minchin - "marmite, if i must choose. vegemite is obviously the preferred option."

And finally, our very own Cynical Ben - "Marmite on toast. Bovril in a flask on a windswept mountain. Both sit happily in the pantheon of world's greatest foods."

So, there we have it. Even though I would choose Bovril, I have to accept that Marmite has stormed away with the victory. Congratulations Marmite. So, what has all this proved? Well, not a lot, except I've saved all the replies and it will raise a smile sometime in the future, and it just confirmed to me how much I love Twitter, where someone famous will gladly answer the most banal of questions.

They won't read this, but I wish to thank the 20 celebrities who took a moment to reply. All just a bit of fun, but I now look upon them favourably compared to others who couldn't be bothered. Yeah I'm looking at you, William Shatner. You and your cereal! Also much kudos to Kristen Bell, who got this madness underway. That's the end of the matter now, I promise!

I'm Back!

I wanted to come back from my blogging holiday with a bit of a bang, and here's what I can offer up...see what you think.

So, last night, much like every night, I was talking shit on MSN with my great buddy, Merciless Public. I had just told him about someone sending a 'tweet' on Twitter to a celeb, when a plan beginned to form in our minds. Before I go any further, you need to understand that A) We are both incredibly sad B) We both love Twitter and C) I think Merciless had had a bit to drink.

We were forming a plan, but we needed to see if it worked or not. Consider this the test run, if you will. My eyes flicked down the list of celebrities I 'follow' and my eyes rested on Kristen Bell.

Kristen Bell (once described by another friend as being "as cute as a button") is an American actress - you'll probably know her for playing Veronica Mars, although she's also been in Heroes, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Gossip Girl and The Shield.

I had found my celebrity. I had thought up a test question. Now all I had to do was ask her:

@IMKristenBell Hey Kristen! Having a bet with a friend - can you help? What would Veronica Mars love more - a squid or an octopus? Thanks!

I sent it, and sighed. A) She wouldn't reply and B) Even if she did, it could be in a few days. Ten minutes later, I got a reply.

IMKristenBell an octopus...because that is the mascot of the detroit redwings. yeah. believe it or not, it isn't a red wing.

I've no idea what she's going on about there, but the speed of her response and her cordiality confirmed to us that our plan could work. Thankyou Kristen -not only are you as cute as a button, but apparently you are a really nice person as well, or so I've heard on the grapevine. Anyway, Merciless and I then hatched our plan. We would 'tweet' lots of celebrities, asking them a question, just one small question:

Bovril or Marmite?

We started this nonsense about midnight Monday evening/Tuesday morning. At the time of writing this, it's now 4:30pm, Wednesday. To see ALL the responses we've had (and there's a few) please scroll on up the page, and indulge in the banal-ness. Thankyou please!

Okay, who are you?

I'm still on my blogging holiday, but something has caught my eye on the stat-porn, and I can't ignore it.

Someone from Sale, Cheshire is visiting quite a bit. I wouldn't normally do this, but I have a sneaking suspicion who it is, but I'm not too sure. So, who are you?! And do I know you, as I suspect?

If you don't want to reveal yourself on here, you can send me an e-mail, just click on my profile. I'm just curious to know if you are who I think you are...

UPDATE - And also my frequent visitor from Liege, Belgium! I have no idea who you are, but you visit me so often it's beginning to intrigue me. Again, leave a comment or email! Right, enough stat-porn, time for breakfast...

The 2009 Quiz Spectacular!

Good morning/afternoon/evening to you, and welcome to Ewarwoowar's spectacular quiz!

I've done a quiz on here before and it was well received, so now here is a massive one for your enjoyment. First of all, before you tackle it, a few points. A) There really will be a prize for this quiz. A real, genuine prize. Excited? B) Once this quiz is published, you have 2 weeks, then the competition will be closed and the answers revealed. C) For all cheats, especially you Mitchell Cashmore, don't try it. If you cheat, I will know. Do not try me on this. D) To enter, leave a comment, and in interests of fairness I won't publish comments until the fortnight is up. Got it? Great - go go go!

1. Name the city!

2. Name the song from it's opening line!

1) On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air...

2) Goodbye Norma Jean, though I never knew you at all...

3) Johnnys in the basement, mixing up the medicine, I'm on the pavement, thinking about the Government...

4) An old man turned 98, he won the lottery and died the next day...

5) Out on the winding, windy moors, we'd roll and fall in green...

6) You've done it all, you've broken every code, and pulled the rebel to the floor...

7) Where it began, I can't begin to know when...

8) Now here you go again,

you say you want your freedom...

9) Call out the instigators, because there's some

thing in the air...

10) The world was on fire, no-one could save me but you...

3. Name the sportsperson!

And finally, 4. Who's autobiography was entitled thus?

1. Why do I say these things?

2. Blade Runner

3. Dear Fatty

4. Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know

5. Enter the Dragon

6. I'm only being honest

7. On the Edge

8. Ooh! What a lovely pair!

9. Humble Pie

10. Bit of a Blur

Well that's the quiz, folks. Good luck - remember, to take part, just leave a comment. This is going to stay as my main blog post for a little while now, for two reasons: 1) It gives you time to peruse it at your leisure, and 2) I'm going to be taking a "blogging holiday" for a bit, although I'll still probably drop in on other people's blogs. No doubt I'll come back in about a week refreshed and ready to go, armed with about 7 ridiculous Wendy Slark letters. Ciao for now!

Wow

This is, without a doubt, the greatest thing I've ever seen.

President Obama naked, holding a sword, on a unicorn. On either side of him, Josef Stalin and Hugh "House" Laurie.

Now that, ladies and gentleman, is art. Outstanding.

There's gonna be a few changes round here!

Well, not really. Just one, maybe another in the long-run.

The Community Shield was yesterday. I don't know what's more embarrassing - Chris Foy's performance, Paddy Evra's penalty, football starting at this time of year, or me secretly seething at losing a match which is a pointless friendly. Actually, something else tops that - England's performance in the last Test match. Shee-eesh!

Anyway, that runabout at Wembley signals that the Premier League season is once again upon us. And here comes the slight change on my blog - for this season, gone will be the Premier League Predictions I did on a Friday afternoon. Instead, once a week I shall be putting up the standings on the Fantasy Football league myself and dear old Merciless have been running. Ah yes, that league. If you still want to sign up, it's not too late, but you have until Saturday at the latest. To enter, sign up and create a team over at the Premier League site, then you'll need the code for our league, which is 6923-3239.

We have an interesting mix so far - some people I don't know, an old friend from my childhood, a former History teacher of mine, and Cynical Ben (hopefully Voley too). So, yeah, sign up if you want, should be fun. And like I said, I'll be charting the league positions every week on here, so keep on dropping by for that.

Finally, I can't leave the predictions thing completely. The papers this weekend have been doing their final Premier League table thoughts, so here's mine. I'm typing this on Monday 10th August, so I'm basing this on the way the squads stand right now, HOWEVER I am going to assume that Lescott leaves Everton and joins Man City, as is expected.

1 Chelsea - Presuming they don't all hate Ancelotti, I see Chelsea as the strongest team. Not lost anyone, Joe Cole back, Zhirkov in. Only issue is the age of the squad.

2 Liverpool - Presuming Torres and Stevie Me stay fit. Alonso is a loss, but defensive platform is there and Aquilani will be an interesting proposition.

3 Man Utd - Replacing Ronny and Teveth with a player from Wigan and a crock is yet another indication that the once great man is slowly winding down. It will be emotional at the end of the season, when we wave goodbye to him, and say hello to Jose, but it must be done.

4 Arsenal - Might be worth having a few quid on Arshavin being Player of the Year. I've got Vermaelen in every Fantasy Football team I've got going this season, so he better shore up that defence. Losing Toure is a massive blow, and out of the big 4 teams, they are the furthest away from winning the league, but they'll just hold off Citeh.

5 Man City - Good luck Sparky! Adding Lescott will make them a much better, balanced team than they were, but I can't see them breaking the top 4 just yet.

6 Aston Villa - One of those teams I always look out for, as I have numerous friends who support them. A top 6 finish is well attainable, but the loss of G.Barry stops them getting closer to top 4.

7 Everton - Good job they have one of the best managers in the league. Still handcuffed financially, it will be more of the same this season.

8 Tottenham - As much as I dislike them, Harry has assembled a half-decent squad there. Bassong is a great signing, Crouch is a very good signing.

9 West Ham - I really fancy the Hammers to do well this year - good manager, good assistant manager, and a few interesting young players. Look out for Jack Collison.

10 Fulham - Presuming they keep hold of Hangeland, it will be more of the same. Formidable home record should continue under Woy Hodgson.

11 Sunderland - Looking at their squad, it looks a bit thin. But Steve Bruce is a good manager, and Darren Bent will bag quite a few up there.

12 Blackburn - Obviously losing Santa Cruz is going to be a big loss for them, but under Allardyce they'll survive, and survive comfortably.

13 Wigan Athletic - How will Roberto Martinez get on there? That's the big question. I see them having a slightly below par season, as they adjust to the new man, but they'll be fine.

14 Bolton - I hate them for the way they play, but it's effective. Typical Megson side. Like their local rivals Blackburn and Wigan, this will be a season of solidarity, but not much excitement.

15 Stoke City - Survival, again. And I suspect that's all they care about. Home form will be crucial once again. Interesting to see what impact Delap has this time around. They'll be safe, just.

16 Wolves - I tip the Wolves to survive, mainly based on Ebanks-Blake and Kevin Doyle. Looking at that midfield - it's weak, and I wouldn't go rushing to put money on them to stay up. Not a great team, but I think there are a few worse ones floating around.

17 Birmingham City - I have 4 teams left, and to be honest I don't rate any of them. I've just flipped a coin, and Birmingham get survival in 17th place, and Burnley go down in 18th place.

18 Burnley - One season wonders, I fear. Home form might give them a chance, but I just can't see them staying up. Major achievement for Owen Coyle and his players if they do.

19 Hull City - Hull are going down as readily as Jenna Jameson, seriously. They are DOWN. In fact, they are very lucky that they won't finish rock bottom.

20 Portsmouth - Players out: Glen Johnson, Peter Crouch, Sean Davis, Sol Campbell, Lauren amongst others. Players in: Steve Finnan, Aaron Mokoena. Sorry Pompey, bye, and I won't miss you. Only chance of escape is a foreign investor with deep pockets taking over there.

Roll on the new season!